


Would That Be Good For You?

by oh_worm



Category: Be More Chill, bmc - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, and theres this new character, hopefully we're in this for the long run, ive got a lot of ideas that i wanna keep going on with
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2018-12-19 21:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_worm/pseuds/oh_worm
Summary: One day you might wake up with a new scar or tattoo and have no idea where it came from, and knowing that you didn't put it there. In this au, soulmates share skin, but only permanent marks like a scar. Jeremy shares a tattoo with his soulmate and it doesn't settle well with anybody, including himself. Read as Jeremy struggles to find who he's linked to and all the drama it ensues.





	1. Late Chat

**Author's Note:**

> the summary: aka jeremy is dramatic this entire fic lolsorry

Incoming video call...

"Dude." A pixelated, lagging blank face stared through a bright computer screen, which also happened to be the only light in the room.

"Hey, Michael." 

"What's with this text you just sent me?" He flashed his phone to the camera, but the low quality just made it appear as a white rectangle. 

"Uhm, which one?" Jeremy was kind of playing dumb. He wanted to avoid the subject because he already felt bad sending the text in the first place. 

"Uhh, the one where you said you can't hang out for the next few weeks?" Michael sounded a bit insulted. Jeremy's nerves were already making his twitchy. "What's going on?" 

The latter tone allowed Jeremy to take a slow breath before he could explain himself. He didn't even know how to make it sound like a true story. 

"I uh...I got grounded." Jeremy watched as Michael gave a silent, confused glare. It lasted a few seconds until Michael's brief chuckle interrupted it. 

"You're meaning to tell me..." Michael gazed blankly once again as he had a slight pause in his sentence. "Your dad. Actually grounded you?" Jeremy just rolled his eyes in agreed disbelief. 

"Ever since he learned to put on pants, he's also trying to take up the role of acting like a full-on father. I mean it's not like he wasn't a good parent before, but since the night at the play he's dedicated himself to being the 'best father he can be for his son.'" Jeremy threw a mocking voice of his dad into some finger air quotes to imitate the real severity of his explanation. Michael nodded in similar understanding. 

"I can get that, but I still don't understand how you can get grounded. I didn't think you were capable!" 

"I've been grounded before."

"Missing the point, Jer"

Jeremy groaned out, slapping his palms against his exhausted eyes and rubbing them. "I don't even know. I think...I think he's just trying out being strict for a minute." 

“What did you even do, masturbate too loudly?” Michael joked. Though it wasn’t too farfetched of an idea. Jeremy didn’t have a clear enough mind to laugh even if he wanted to. 

“I uhhh…” He quickly came up with an excuse, which might just be the worst. “Got drunk..!” Too loud. “I-I mean...see I was with Rich and he gave me a drink, a-and I uhh, I drank it. And I went home and my dad got mad.” The lie sounded so unspecific, it’s impossible that Michael would buy it.

“I remember when my dad got mad the first time I got caught smoking weed.” Jeremy did a double take at Michael. Is he really giving an anecdote right now? “Man, was he upset. He just grounded me and I spent the whole time getting stoned. Eventually he realized that I wasn’t going to stop and just told me to keep the place ventilated, I mean how cool is that!” Michael was always kind of a stick-your-ground kind of guy. If he wanted to do something for himself, he’d just keep doing it no matter what others would say. 

Michael's confidence in his I’m-my-own-man personality only reminds Jeremy of the day that he came out. It was only a few months ago, and wasn’t really anything emotional or extravagant, if anything it was kind of hilarious to him. Junior year, about a month after the whole play/squip thing was over with. Jeremy, Michael, Rich, Jake, and Chloe outside the cafeteria after lunch but before the bell rang for class. Jake and Chloe were giving Michael an unasked lesson on sex. 

“Dude, I can smell the virginity on you.” Jake looked at Michael in minor disdain. “Either it’s been forever or you’ve never stuck it in a chick.” Michael just laughed, but Jeremy remembers wanting to defend him, despite knowing Jake’s sex drive and his best friends sexuality, so he never did. 

“Maybe it’s because I never have.” Michael responded nonchalantly, which Jake gave back a loud, fake gasp. 

“You’re a virgin!” The surprised tone made a few others standing by take notice. It was a little rude, but nobody really seemed to care. 

 

“I never said that.”

“You said you've never pegged a girl.”

“Correct.”

“So you're a virgin.” Even Jeremy was looking at Jake like he was an idiot. It's not like he was oblivious to gay people. Even Chloe was catching on to what Michael was explaining without words. 

“You're an idiot sometimes, Jake.” Chloe was annoyed, too. “Well, most of the time now that I think about it.” 

“What did I do?! Michael's logic is the one that's flawed!” 

A fed up Michael rolled his eyes. But not like he was annoyed, more like a ‘you’re obviously not getting it yet’ kind of way. Michael had grabbed Rich by his jacket and shoved their mouths together in a really long kiss. It was too quick for anyone to prepare except for Michael. Jake was the only one that was a bit startled about how he’d just decided to come out, Rich was embarrassed that he was just grabbed into a kiss, and Jeremy was happy his friend had finally decided to show that part of him. The bell rang for class as they kissed and Michael couldn’t have ended it better than by turning to Jake and blatantly going, “I’m gay you dickwipe.”

That was pretty much the end of that. It's not like anyone was going to be against his sexuality, and Michael knew that, but he still wanted to go out with a bang. But it was really funny when Jake brought it up the next day, talking about how he didn't see it coming, and Michael yelled “I'VE GOT THE PRIDE FLAG PATCH ON MY JACKET! I WEAR IT EVERY DAY!” And Jake getting defensive saying how he thought Michael was just a supporter. 

Michael and Jeremy have been best friends for years. Everyone knew that. Michael has always been chill with anything Jeremy needed to tell him, but this time Jeremy knew he couldn’t in fear of hurting his buddy’s relationship. And all because of something he can't control. It's a thing that everyone experiences when they go through a certain stage of puberty. One day you might wake up with a new scar or tattoo and have no idea where it came from, and knowing that you didn't put it there. The only real explanation is that fact that every person is linked to another by their skin. The only way to know you’re matched with someone is through piercing the physical skin. If one person is stabbed, the other doesn’t also get stabbed, but they both receive the same scar, just that one receives the pain.

“Yeah, that is pretty cool of him to just let you keep smoking.” Jeremy responded to Michael’s story, which he’d grinned back at Jeremy. 

“Getting caught by police or whatever would be my own trouble, plus I have to pay for it myself. They take no part in my own choice.” All in what Michael was saying Jeremy already knew. Jeremy was the first one to know about his pot smoking, which caused a line of questions regarding his best friends safety and making sure Michael wasn’t doing anything stupid. Which Michael had to keep assuring Jeremy about his pride in his own choices. 

Not long into the video call, but Jeremy had to get off his laptop, as instructed by his dad, so he said bye to Michael and hung up their call. He closed his laptop and shifted his legs off his bed. A mirror stood across his room, a full length body mirror which he’d use some mornings to make sure his outfit didn’t look insane. But that was rare, considering he doesn’t usually experiment with clothes. He knew and jeans and t-shirt would do fine. 

The mirror exposed more than Jeremy would like to see. His eyes had unhealthy looking bags underneath them, he was a bit pale from feel nauseous through the day, and his body was never really his most liked feature about himself. He looked down his mirror, messy hair, older-looking eminem shirt, plaid boxers, looking down his legs made his stomach drop like it’d been doing all day. 

“Alex Mitchell...:” Jeremy whispered gazing down at his ankle. A small bit of black ink covered the inside of his foot, a tattoo that he’d never gotten. Jeremy didn’t get drunk like he told Michael, and sure as hell didn’t get a tattoo on top of that. Mr. Heere saw the tattoo and snapped at Jeremy. 

“I had it when you decided to go out every single day, taking the car to the Halloween party and drinking with all those kids, _but a tattoo, Jeremy?!_ ” His voice stung as much as a normal scold from any parent. Jeremy still found it hard to defend himself. 

“I swear, I have no idea it was there! You have to believe me.” Of course he didn’t. Mr. Heere just wanted to believe that his son was being rebellious again. 

“I’m sure you had no idea it was there while you were sitting in the tattoo parlor for god knows how long getting it! Who’s this Alex, anyways?”

Alex Mitchell is a kid one grade above them. He's a jock, but not necessarily a preppy asshole jock, more of a weed asshole jock. He had a pretty medium standard in the school social hierarchy. He wasn't the worst guy in the world, he could be a dick sometimes and cool the other, like Rich used to be like. 

Alex is also Michael's most current boyfriend. He’d had others when he was in middle school, but none serious and definitely non public. This was the first guy Michael has been with in full relationship mode. They’ve been together for a couple months, Michael gained some notice from other people after he publicly kissed Rich for ten seconds, which is probably what lead him to get a boyfriend so quick. 

Jeremy wanted to think about it then when his dad asked just as much as he wants to now, which is as little as possible. Of course, his dad thought it was a girlfriend of Jeremy’s that he didn’t know about. He couldn’t imagine the reaction from Michael if he ever told him, ‘Hey, I have a tattoo of your boyfriends name on my ankle. Probably because we’re soulmates according to the skin fate.’ Jeremy couldn’t do that to his best friend. Not only that, but he also couldn’t shake the idea that his _best friends’ boyfriend is his soulmate._

Jeremy still felt sick thinking about it. If he knew anything, it was that he didn’t have any interest in Alex. He was happy for Michael, of course, and it’s not like he thinks Alex is a bad guy. He just didn’t have any sort of appeal towards being with him. 

Jeremy got up off his bed to plug in his laptop and turn off his bedroom light before crawling into bed. 

_‘No way in hell am I going to ruin Michael’s happiness.’_


	2. He doesn't need to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sike welcome to drama city population you

The houses down this suburb were really nice for New Jersey. It was like driving through a wooded park in the fall, except it was the end of winter and instead of colorful leaves, it was dirty snow in the road turned into brown sludge from being driven over and over again. The city never got snow in Jersey, but the more secluded areas away from the city got a surprising amount.

Some areas might get a few inches, meanwhile others getting a foot or possibly two of full snow. The only major down point to winter was that it was colder than it already was in Jersey. Now it’s almost March and there was barely anything for snow, just the suburbs that kept white rimming the bottoms of trees and the edge of sidewalks. 

Jeremy went a solid nascar speed of 15 miles per hour down this particular suburb, observing all of the houses he drove passed. It was definitely a rich neighborhood; brick houses, metal fences, shiny luxury cars. Nothing millionaire-type. But people down this area definitely had a well living.

Jeremy pulled into the driveway of one of the brick houses. Dark red with grey stone covering an archway around the front door, black-top roof with a chimney, and a two-door garage attached to the house. Jeremy got out of his car and walked up to the door, the black wall lanterns against the front lit up as he walked by them. He clicked the doorbell and listened to the echo it made inside the house. It took a minute to get an answer, he was about to walk away so he didn't seem like a weird stalker if someone saw him waiting so long. 

“JEREMYYY!” His name was shouted when the door swung open. Rich grabbed Jeremy in a bear hug, lifting him off the ground.

“Hey-whoA okay! Hey...to you, too?” Jeremy was set down and Rich stepped back to smile at him. Rich didn’t dress like he lived in a super nice house. He wore black jeans that were cut mid-length, probably his own work, too. One leg was shorter than the other. He also had on a grey t-shirt and a black jersey jacket. Not really different than most people would wear at school. 

“Hey buddy! How’s it going?” Rich asked cheerfully. He could see the uneasiness in Jeremy but still sought to lighten the mood. Jeremy shrugged.

“Things have been better, I guess.” It wasn’t a sad tone, it was completely serious. Things could definitely be better in his life at the moment. 

Jeremy got ungrounded a week ago and still didn’t feel any better about the situation. Not being able to go anywhere and talk to someone about it hasn’t helped either. Rich nodded understandingly.

“Come on in and we can catch up. Only one rule.” Rich stuck a finger up between him and Jeremy. “No making jokes about how my name relates to my parent’s money.” Jeremy nodded to agree and they walked into the house. It really was beautiful on the inside, maybe even more than the outside. Marble floors, dark wood doors and frames, high ceiling, carpeted staircase leading to another level, Jeremy was just surprised that he didn’t see a chandelier made out of gold or a giant grand piano. 

“People really joke about how your name is Rich?” Jeremy asked. He tempted to compliment the house, but he held it back. 

“Yeah, everyone that’s seen my house.” He responded in an annoyed way. “‘Your name must be Rich because your parents are rich’ God, I’ve heard the joke a hundred times.” Jeremy laughed at it. The joke wasn’t funny, but many people making the same joke was for some reason. 

Rich lead them upstairs into his bedroom, which was probably the most normal looking room in the house. It wasn’t neat like the rest. There were posters of bands and buff dudes everywhere on the walls, a used-looking bench press, a crooked bed with rips and messy blankets without sheets, and clothes were scattered around the entire room. The bed was king sized, but still looked like a teenager owned and never took care of it. Rich closed the door behind them and walked over to a stereo that was placed on a table against the side of the room. 

“I invited Jake, too. And I think he’s bringing Christine. I hope that’s okay.” Rich spoke as he turned on the stereo to some light rock. Kid was always listening to something. He would have full conversations even while he had his headphones on and blaring. Pretty sure he learned how to read lips. At least this time it quiet enough for them to talk. 

“Oh. Yeah, it’s all good.” Jeremy gave his okay and sat on Rich’s bed. He assumed Rich told him because of the Christine part. Christine and Jeremy were together briefly after the play, but a couple dates in and they both kind of agreed to be friends. It was still a really good opportunity to get closer, which they definitely are now, and they both like it that way. Jeremy found that he really just wanted to be closer with Christine, and he was completely fine with just that. 

“So about this grounding thing?” Rich went over to flop back on his bed. 

“O-oh yeah about that. I kinda t-”

“Michael told me what happened.”

“Yeah but-”

“I also know that when he said I gave you alcohol and got your ass drunk that you were really just covering your ass.”

Jeremy was a bit flushed. He hated to lie to Michael, plus he dragged Rich into it. He just hopes Michael didn’t say anything bad to Rich when he was told he got him drunk. It’s not like Michael to get wrapped into drama or threats, especially since he doesn't have room to talk about someone else getting drunk. He’s also glad that Rich was smart enough to know it was a coverup. 

“Sorry, Rich. I know I shouldn’t have dragged you into the whole thing.” Jeremy said a little defeatedly.

“It’s okay, but what do you mean by ‘whole thing?’ How big is the problem you got grounded for?” He sat up to face Jeremy. 

“Well...you see I think I may have found-” 

“YO WHATUP, DICKBAGS?!” Jake makes an entrance. Which earned him an elbow in the rib by Christine. He glared at her for a second but turned back. “Rich I’m pretty sure I figured out why your parents named yo-” 

“Jake, shut the fuck up before I decide to cut your dick off in your sleep.” 

“Damn...brutal.” Jake muttered. Christine and Jeremy shared a smile at the other two. 

“Hey.” She said to Jeremy, which he greeted back. “Where have you been?” She walked to sit near him.

“I uh-” 

“Nerd got grounded.” Rich answered. 

“Grounded? That doesn’t really sound like you.” She turned her head in thought. “Except for that little time after the Halloween party. I know your dad doesn't know about Squips, though.”

“Yeah, well it still wasn’t exactly my choice this time.” Jeremy said back. Everyone turned to look at him, all confused. A wave of emotions came in. Embarrassment for being on the spot, not wanting to tell everyone, but knowing he needs the advice, not to mention guilty for having his best friends boyfriends name on his ankle at the moment. Jeremy took a breath. “Y-you guys know the skin fate thing..?” That definitely got a couple wide-eyes. 

“You got a sign from your soulmate?!” Christine was ecstatic. “That’s so wonderful! Oh, who is it? Does she go to our school? What’s the sign? Oh, I bet she’s-” 

“Christine,” Jake looked at her for a moment, and she calmed down for a few seconds. 

“Right, sorry. Keep going.”

“Right so…” Jeremy continued. “I did get a sign.” He lifted his leg on the bed, rolled up his pantleg and pulled his sock down. Beneath both fabrics, he still had an ace bandage wrapped around the tattoo. 

“What, did your soulmate get amputated or something?” Jake raised his eyebrow at Jeremy, in which he rolled his eyes back at him. 

“I’m just making sure to keep it covered.” He unwrapped the bandage and exposed the Alex Mitchell tattoo. Everyone sat around to observe it. 

“So...is this your foot telling you that you’re gay?” Jake smartassed again. Even though he was serious about what he was saying. 

“Oh man, I get why you’re stressing out now. Alex Mitchell.” Rich shook his head. “Not only a guy but Michael’s _boyfriend._ ”

“His _best friends boyfriend._ ” 

“Yeah I _know_ , guys...Jesus.” He sighed, getting a little messed up again. “What am I going to tell him?” 

“Do you have to tell him?” Jake questioned, everyone turned to him. “I mean, it’s not like you have to be with that person. You aren’t really forced to be with who you’re assigned to.”

“I don’t think it’s an assignment.” Christine chimed in after her few minutes of silence. “I mean, I don’t think the rules are the way you think they are.” Jeremy shook his head and furrowed his brows in thought.

“I-I’m not getting it. What do you mean, ‘rules?’” 

“I mean, the whole thing with the skin connection.” She points to the letters of the tattoo. “You don’t get the name of who you’re supposed to be with. The person that you’re connected to isn’t Alex, unless he got a tattoo of his own name.” 

“So, you’re saying that I’m connected to someone with the same tattoo?” Jeremy slowly said. All new thoughts processed in his mind.

“Yes. Soulmates share skin, and you’re supposed to be with someone that has this tattoo.” 

“Who would have a tattoo of someone’s name?” Rich asked. “That's so lame.” 

“Well, my mom has a tattoo of each of me and my siblings.” Christine replied back.

“OH MY GOD!” Jake yelled again. Rich shushed him, mostly for the sake of making him shut up. “Alex Mitchell’s mom is Jeremy’s soulmate! His mom is a cougar!” Christine shook her head in pure disappointment. 

“I don’t think she would just now get a tattoo of her 17-year-old son.” Jeremy gave a sigh of relief to her counter statement. He was actually kind of worried there for a second. “Plus, she’s obviously already been with another man, I’m pretty sure she’s already found her soulmate.” All in which Jake crossed his arms and shrugged her off. 

“Psh...it’s still a possibility…” 

“So uhm...Onto other possibilities?” Jeremy asked, glad it’s not Alex or his mom. 

Jeremy was a little on edge as they talked about possible soulmates, only half of them being serious contributions. It took twenty minutes before someone took notice of Jeremy. Christine turned to him in full concern to witness him scarcely shaking and breathing more abnormal. 

“Hey, are you okay? You look really pale.” She had a hand on his shoulder to get his full attention. 

“Huh..? O-oh yeah...I’m…” He stood up slowly and shakily off the bed. “I’m just gonna get some air for a minute.” 

 

Jeremy was settled on the porch with his head to his knees and his hands clasped behind his neck. The air didn’t really help ease the huge amounts of pressure on himself to find an answer. He felt so confused and struggled to find any clarity. It’s like a big rainstorm just came in and got a bunch of sorted files wet and soggy and impossible to read. He had no idea who he was apparently destined to be with and everything keeps changing on him. He was beginning to just ignore having a connection in the first place. Who he wanted to be with is his decision, right?

A door opened and closed behind Jeremy. He didn’t know which one of his friends it was, either way he chose to sit and force his nerves to calm down, though he wasn’t really accomplishing anything. 

“I can tell this isn’t as magical for you as I thought it was for everyone.” Pink flats showed in the corner of Jeremy’s eye. Christine was sitting beside him again. “I always thought it could only be a fun journey of finding true love. Ha, that sounds silly, doesn’t it?” Christine’s sentence went down at the end, she was disappointed now. 

“N-no..! I don’t think that’s silly at all.” Jeremy needed to make sure Christine didn’t also feel bad. But he also agreed with her. He wished it could be like she said. “I think I just got unlucky or something…” Christine shook her head.

“I think there’s an explanation for this. Whoever your soulmate is, they’re close. And we’ll all be here if you need anything. Michael, too.” Jeremy thought about how he still needed to go see Michael. He could at least try to be like he was before until he finds more information. Jeremy nodded and half-smiled at Christine. 

“You’re right. Thanks, Christine.” She smiled back at him. 

“Of course. Have you talked to Michael since you got ungrounded?” Jeremy’s heart stopped for half a second. Shit. He’s been worrying this whole time about his best friend and hasn’t even checked in with him. Jeremy pulled out his phone quickly and groaned, now feeling really guilty. 

“Thirty-four text messages and twenty missed calls.” Jeremy said worriedly. He had visited to figure things out and Michael probably thinks that Jeremy is just ignoring him. 

“You should probably go see him before he’s completely convinced you’re dead.” 

“Are you sure..? I don’t think I should just leave you guys. I mean...you all came here to help me and I’m just walking out.”

“Jeremy.” Christine put a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. Everyone knows that you’re trying to figure things out. Michael could help you, too.” Jeremy thought for a moment, and slowly nodded back at her. 

“Tell the others I said thank you?” He asked her, standing up.

“I will.” She stood beside him.

“Thank you, Christine.” She smiled at him again and Jeremy walked away to his car and Christine waved him off as he exited the suburb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is weird and cringy jsyk  
> also  
> jake is an idiot and i loved writing him


	3. Catching up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy gets to hang out with michael and it's hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention that in this chapter I introduce characters that are Filipino and Ecuadorian. Please, if anything doesn't seem right or anything is messed up please tell me! Via comments

Knocking at the door was overrated when you haven’t responded to your friend in a full day. Separation gets to Michael easily when he knew his friend was free and still wasn’t responding. Pulling into the driveway of Michael’s house was enough for Michael to bolt out the front door and run to attack Jeremy in a surprisingly vulgar hug. Jeremy hadn’t even fully gotten out of the car, Michael just tore him out of it. 

“Buddy, you’re back!” Michael shouted. Jeremy laughed.

“I wasn’t dead, I was just grounded for a while.” Michael knew that, but he wanted to be overdramatic. Jeremy was just now let go of the hug.

“You ass! You never responded to any of my texts or calls! Did your phone break during the week or something!? I swear, the next time you don’t respond, I’ll...I’ll uh...”Jeremy thought Michael sounded like a mom, which was strangely hilarious. 

“Ground me?” Jeremy held back his laughter at first, but it progressively lead from chuckles to full laughter, which Michael joined in on when he realized how it was so damn funny. 

It was the best way to reunite, they both thought. They both really just needed to get together again and Jeremy felt ninety-percent less anxious about before. He kind of forgot about being super shook up a few hours ago, and for the past week. Michael could help with anything when Jeremy was upset, even if it wasn’t about the thing he was even messed up about. 

“Well, c’mon man! I’m not the only one that’s been wondering where you’ve been!”

Jeremy has always loved Michael’s family, all of them were so sweet inside and out. Walking into Michael’s house always felt really warm. Cooking happened as often as breathing in his house, so the house was perpetually filled with powerful smells and uniquely cooked meats and vegetables. All the cooking made the air thick and so comfortable it was almost hard to walk out of. 

Jeremy followed Michael into his house to see none other than Mrs. Mell, cleaning the kitchen from what it looks like, a lunch rush. She was a fairly short Filipino woman with short black hair that curled near her cheeks. She almost looked like the fifties lived inside her with her polka-dotted apron and waist skirt that nearly touched the ground. Jeremy recalls her wishing to be called by her first name, Ella, but he still felt like it might be too casual. He had a big respect for her, he had no reason not to. 

“Ah, mijo. Pensé que te irías.” She turned and noticed Jeremy. She smiled sweetly, setting a hand on his arm gently for a moment. “And welcome back to you, Jeremiah.”

He smiled back at her. “It’s nice to see you again.” 

“I wasn’t planning on leaving, mamá.” He gazed behind her. “Not as you were cooking, anyways.” He was basically drooling. 

Though Ella was Filipino, she’s transitioned to speaking Spanish around the house. Michael’s father is Ecuadorian and growing up Michael picked up Spanish a lot quicker. He was actually pretty talented at being bilingual, but Filipino he had more trouble with and only occasionally works on. 

“Are you boys hungry? I can fix you each a plate to take with you.” 

“Starving.” They both reply enthusiastically.

 

“Remastered.”

“What? Fuck no.”

“Yeah, dude. The editing is so much better.” 

“Dude.” Michael attempted to sit up in his bean bag, but just kind of slid around for a few seconds, then accepted his fate. “You’re telling me that you prefer cgi crap over pure hand-crafted, authentic, gorgeous, amazing, wonderful, cre-”

“I get it, Michael. I just think it looks better. All the older puppet characters move so much better in the remastered version of Return of the Jedi.” Michael’s head shook slowly in disgust. 

They were stoned in Michael’s basement. They’d finished their home cooked dinner hours ago and first went for video games, which only lasted an hour before Michael got annoyed with losing and resolved it with weed. They sat and did that for a while, just talking like they would on a normal day. But as their brains went slower and they gained a full on hot box, they also got into deeper conversations like how owning a furby can lead to being a furry, or how terrible Michael thinks the remastered Star Wars are. 

“You probably think the new movies are good, too. Don’t you?” He crossed his arms with sarcasm.

“You don’t?” Michael gasped.

“You have dishonored this family. Begone, normie.” He turned away to shun Jeremy, which he just sank down like a pile of goo in the bean bag in response and squinted. 

“Do you get this moody with Alex?” He wasn’t asking in any sort of concern, more like he was calling out Michael’s childishness. 

“As a matter of fact, I do. And he loves it.” Michael reached to his ashtray to grab his joint and take short hit. Jeremy stretched his arms up above his head, now looking like he was doing a backbend without actually keeping himself up. 

“Well good for him, then. Someone tolerates it.” Jeremy grinned at Michael. He smirked back like he wanted to laugh but was too tired to do so. 

They sat quietly for another minute. Jeremy had his eyes closed and was completely still as Michael continued to smoke. 

“So every-”

“JESus..!” Michael jumped at his sudden voice. He could’ve sworn Jeremy fell asleep. Instead, Jeremy started laughing so hard that he had to sit up because he started to choke. “Yeah, that’s what you get for scaring me.” 

“Uh, yeah sure.” Jeremy came down from his little cough fit and flopped back. “Anyways, like I was saying. Everything going good in the whole, y'know, relationship deal?” Michael nodded with a smile to himself. 

“Yeah, I think we’re going pretty strong. He hasn’t given me a reason to not want to, uh, be with him...?” Jeremy looked at him with confusion. He wasn’t sure why it came out as a question. “I’m trying not to be too sappy, dude. I know how annoying it can get.” At least Jeremy could agree with that. Michael wouldn’t ever not be there for him, but sometimes Jeremy overly talked about Christine and he knew it could get annoying. This time it was more concerning and he still wanted his friend to be able to talk about whatever feelings he needed. Plus he really sympathized with Michael. Jeremy knew that Michael couldn’t always openly talk about who he liked and it use to get to him a while back. He knew it wasn’t just getting over a fear of talking to people, like Jeremy had with Christine. Michael was confident but it took him a long time to make it that way.

“It’s cool. I mean, you did listen to me talk about Christine for a few months. I’m not upset when you want to talk about who you like.” 

“It’s…” Michael searched for words for a moment. “It’s just so weird. I don’t know if I’ve ever just liked a person this way before. He’s just oddly chill with everything, and he really does tolerate when I get super hyper. Not to mention he’s hella attractive.” That’s where Jeremy probably had to disagree the most. Alex wasn’t ugly by any means, he could see why Michael liked him, but he wasn’t exactly eye candy in Jeremy’s eyes. “Part of me wants to believe we’re...soulmates? I don’t know, that was probably really gay.”

“You’re gay, Michael.” 

“There’s still a homo limit, my dude. I know it’s only been a few months, I really don’t want to get ahead of myself.” Michael submerged himself in the beanbag like Jeremy did before. “Part of me is afraid I already have, but I can’t ever actually tell.”

“You think you messed something up?” Everyone does. First times dating usually never fail to make you worry at everything you do. Even before dating, and sometimes the feeling never goes away in some cases. Michael rubbed his nose bridge under his glasses. 

“I don’t know, maybe? I feel okay, I just wonder if he is.” He’s mentioned this before. Jeremy remembers Michael saying how Alex was somewhat secluded. Not that he shut himself out but more that he doesn’t talk about how he feels. Michael had said that he almost never mentioned dislikes, which Jeremy could see why that could be a bother. You never know when you’re bothering someone. Michael sighed.

“I’m...really sorry you feel that way, man. I know that it sucks when you can never point what’s wrong.” Michael shared a small smile. He was always glad that he always had someone that understood, or listened enough to try. “I just hope that whatever flaws he’ll choose to see, he’ll accept them. For the benefit of both of you.” Michael chuckled. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jeremy was always the one to not give a single shit about anyones flaws. He had his own, some he accepts and some he still wishes he didn’t have. Either way, his buddy was upset and it didn’t kill to put his two cents in. “Thanks, Jer. I’m happy you’re back.” 

“I’ve got your back, buddy.” Jeremy closed his eyes again. Michael checks his watch.

“Bro, no. It’s only like midnight. Wake the shit up.” 

“I’m not sleeping.” His eyes were still closed and had a sleepy voice.

“Nope, no. Get up.” Michael stood grabbed Jeremy’s arms, who struggled to even lift his head. “We’re going out.”

“Whyyy.” Jeremy whined and was pulled up from the bean bag. Michael had to partially hold him up like he was wounded or something. “I’ve got jelly body, bro. You think I’m suitable to go places?” Michael walked them towards the stairs to go back on ground level. 

“You will be soon.”

 

First stop was the closest 7/11. It was only a couple of minutes away from Michael’s house, but it felt like an hour getting there. Michael was used to smoking all the time, but not Jeremy. On the rare occasions when he did he was drowsy and had a melted brain and his face got hot and his body went numb. He’s glad that Michael had been doing it long and often enough that it didn’t affect his driving. Plus Michael made sure to keep the windows down as they drove to the store, it kept their minds slightly more clear when they weren’t just breathing in weed smoke.

“You need me to carry you out too, Jer?” Jeremy was in a weird trance that he quickly snapped out of.

“I’m good.” 

They both entered the gas station to see it just completely empty. Radio pop music played softly, and it echoed around all the white shelves filled with road snacks. A cashier wasn’t even in any sort of sight. 

“Ooo man, I’m totally stocking up on muddy buddies.” Michael scavenged the shelves for his favorite munchies. Speaking of which Jeremy had just noticed he was starving. Neither of them had eaten since dinner like six hours ago, plus they’ve been high for about four of them. Jeremy searched around for anything that looked good, which was kind of anything now. “Hey, man. Think fast!” Michael pelted a family sized bag of cool ranch doritos at Jeremy. He was too out of it to dodge in time, so it just kind of hit him in the face and fell on the ground. 

The chips survived Jeremy’s face, but as soon as they fell on the ground the bag popped open and half the chips came out one end. Michael and Jeremy stared wide-eyed at the small mess, then at each other, which caused an immediate belch of laughter from both. Now, if Jeremy was any kind of sensible person, he’d probably just clean up the mess and buy the chips. But, no. Jeremy picked up the bag and launched them back at Michael, full speed, no holding back. Now chips were all over the store and it was basically an empty bag when Michael got it back, which made Jeremy just laugh harder.

“Oh, you’re on.” Michael crumpled up the bag, ready to throw it before another noise averted their eyes. 

“What’s going on out here?!” A middle aged woman came out from a back room. She was completely harmless, but Michael still took his muddy buddies and smashed them on the ground and yelled.

“Scatter!” He and Jeremy raced out of the store and into Michael’s car before they ended up having to clean a gas station at one in the morning. Michael was screeching as he started his car, like they were being chased by a bear.

“It’s just an employee. We’re already away from the store!” Jeremy tried calming Michael down because he was starting to go too fast getting onto the road. He slowed down once they were out of sight of the store. “I can’t believe we just did that.” 

“I can’t believe I lost my chance at perfect muddy buddies.” Michael pouted.

“ _You_ threw the chips at _me!_ ”

“I didn’t know the bag was gonna explode.” Like any of them were really the innocent one here.

“Well, now you have to find a new munchy spot.” Jeremy crossed his arms like he won. 

“Fuck it, we’re going to McDonalds.” 

 

Four wrong roads, two illegal u-turns, two detours, and three times passing the same restaurant, they finally made it to McDonald’s. Both boys starving and would eat dirt at this point. They ordered enough for twenty people. 30 chicken nuggets, four large fries, two large drinks, four whoppers, plus hotcakes. Michael thought they sounded good. They immediately dug into their food when they seated in a booth. 

“Drunk, huh?” Michael spoke after five minutes of silent eating. Jeremy just looked at him confused. “Shit, I only said the end of my sentence. I mean to ask about why you grounded.” 

“I already told you, my dad got upset that I got drunk.” 

“Right, I get that. I’m not judging. I’m the last person to make it my place about what you do.” Michael smirked at himself. “I guess I’m just curious how that all went down.”

_‘Shit, of course Michael was going to ask for a story. A week after it’s happened and you never came up with a cover. Idiot.’_

“I was...with Rich because he was struggling with some homework.” Jeremy took a bite of his burger to stall a moment to think some more. “I helped him and he offered me a drink. I said sure but I didn’t know it was alcohol, it was some fruity shit. I guess I got carried away because I went home and my dad could tell instantly and punished me on the spot.” Michael nodded, more understanding than before. 

“That makes sense. But how did you get home? You better not have driven drunk.”

“N-No! I wouldn’t. Rich drove me back home.” 

“With what car?” 

“My dads.” 

“So, Rich stayed over?”

“Huh?” Michael was really cornering Jeremy in a box here. It was getting harder to come up with the story.

“Well if Rich drove you home, he wouldn’t be able to get back to his house without using your car.” 

“Right, yeah. The night was a blur so…” He tried excusing his scattered story. “We went in and dad saw us both. That’s when I got in that mess. Someone came to pick Rich up that night.” 

“Who would drive just to bring Rich back home at night time?”

“Uh, J-Jake.” _‘Shit, now I’m wrapping more people up in the story.’_ Michael nodded again.

“Okay, now I feel caught up.” Jeremy sighed of relief. “Not that surprising, though. Jake, I mean. I’m pretty sure Jake and Rich have a thing.” Now Jeremy nodded. He was just glad he didn’t have to keep coming up with stuff. “You think they’re soulmates?” He joked. 

‘Fuck.’

That's the second time Michael has brought up soulmates today. Jeremy’s mind started to go crazy again. Fuck, he’d completely forgotten about the soulmate thing. He was more focused on creating his fake story that the past week just left his head. He tried to keep it cool and just go with the current conversation. 

“I uh, wouldn’t be surprised.” He choked out, taking a sip of his drink and clearing his throat. “They seem to get along pretty well.” 

“Yeah, it’s nice for them.” Michael continued eating. Something was really weird. Michael usually doesn’t bring up a conversation and then just shut it down. 

“Michael? Is everything okay?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m all good. Just still starving my brains out.” 

 

That was about the closing of their night; McDonald’s at 3am. They only ate half of their food and took the rest home, probably breakfast tomorrow. The air seemed much colder on the way back to Michael’s. All windows were down and the radio was playing faintly in the background. Neither of them had their highs still, but Jeremy felt the need to rest his head in his arms on the rolled down window. His face still felt hot and he had a pit at the bottom of his stomach, his brain reciting his lies over and over from that night. It was worse than any sickness he'd ever felt. Jeremy would almost rather be deathly sick than keep lying to his best friend, but it wouldn’t solve any of his problems.

They got back to his house quicker with less adrenaline and wrong turns than the last time. The basement smelled less like weed with the vent Michael had in the outside window near the top of one of his walls. But it was still comfortably warm. Jeremy was thankful for Michael’s queen bed, as opposed to when Michael goes to his house and they have to sleep on the couches or the floor because he still only has a twin. They were both exhausted as soon as they hit the basements warm air. Neither of them bothered getting comfortable, turning off the light and flopping onto the bed was a silent mutual agreement for the both of them. 

Jeremy rolled on his side and plugged in his phone with mostly lidded eyes. When his phone screen brightened up with the icon saying “Charging,” he rolled away from it and fell asleep in a near instant. He couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to bother looking at the messages that illuminated below the icon. 

 

11:36PM   
Rich Goranski

We think we know who your match is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeremy's other notifications he didn't see was a brazzers confirmation email and an accidental sext from jake meant for rich  
> but uh ur welcome  
> (mcdonalds at 3am was a george salazar reference if you didn't notice ;) plus the "scatter" thing)


	4. Before he finds out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing Happens: The Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter is short bc I needed some filler info  
> chapter 5 will definitely make up for it, it's longer than I intended

Michael stirred in his blankets, groaning as he flipped around on his back. Jeremy turned to look at Michael from where he sat on the edge of the bed. Michaels eyes were still closed, still asleep. Jeremy continued to examine Michael, seeing if it was what Rich thought. But both boys had slept in their clothes last night so not much of his body was exposed. Michael was a heavy sleeper, right? He could just, lift up his pant leg a tiny bit…

“Take a picture, man.” Jeremy jumped slightly. He was so lost in thought for a minute that the sound scared him. Michael really was awake a moment ago.

“Ha-ha, funny. I was just...seeing if you were awake.” Michael sat up and yawned, brushing his hair back with his fingers. 

“Seemed more like a gaze to me.” He smirked. Mindless flirting wasn’t really anything shocking. Michael just wanted to tease Jeremy for no reason and with no specific intent. “What’s up, man? What’s with the creepy starin’?”

“You can’t prove anything.” Jeremy joked back and Michael shrugged. 

“Whatever you say.” He could tell there was something bothering Jeremy, but he thought it was best not to push it. Jeremy looked at his messages again. 

9:32AM  
Christine Canigula

_We know he’s only been with Alex for a few months , but every possibility counts. Michael could have the tattoo._

 

Jeremy tried to shove any possibility that it was Michael down a deep hole. It’s almost the same problem if it was Alex, they both were already in a relationship. If he told them ‘Hey, I could potentially be your soulmate,’ he doesn’t think it’d go down very well. For one, it’s selfish to rip something apart to get something for yourself. Not to mention Jeremy doesn’t feel...well, gay. Honestly, everything just seems better off not saying anything. Jeremy can’t imagine Michael leaving his life any time soon, and he’s afraid saying something would make it worse than not.

Not to mention, Jeremy could never not feel bad about everything he did to Michael during the Squip era, he didn’t need to give Michael another thought about his best friend betraying him. 

“I can’t believe we ate so much at three in the morning.” Michael groaned, holding his hand over his stomach. “Pretty sure my body is dying from the inside out.” Jeremy glared at him. Well, half-glared, half-confused. 

“You know we totally fucked up a 7/11 employee’s night last night, right?” Jeremy stated. Michael chuckled back.

“I don’t know about you, but that’s a normal saturday night for me.” 

_‘He’s got jokes this morning.’_ Jeremy couldn’t help but notice Michael’s weird cockiness. 

“Yeah well, that saturday night probably has you banned from that 7/11. Which means now you have to go…” Jeremy looked up to create a visual in his head. “Five miles further from your house and ten full miles from the school for your signature slushie. That is, unless you give them up.” Michael was entertained at Jeremy’s equal cockiness, he faked a scowl.

“I’ll find a way.” They both laughed. It was nice to finally joke around together again. A week seems like a year in best friend time. Jeremy stood up and stretched. They woke up late, and to Jeremy’s disadvantage, he still had homework due in the morning. 

“I should probably head home, prepare for hell tomorrow.” Michael nodded and stood up, beginning to walk Jeremy out. “Thanks for letting me crash here, it was a boring week to get through.” He stepped out of Michael’s house. 

“Anytime, buddy. And uh,” Michael ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks for sticking with me through my shit. Y’know, talking about my relationship problems and then dragging you to nearly vandalize a store and eat our stomachs out really early in the morning.”

“Anytime, man.” Jeremy laughed. Michael stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Jeremy. It was usual to give a hug as a goodbye, at least when they were by themselves. Jeremy would be a bit embarrassed at school because of how much he and Michael would be called boyfriends. It bothered him for a while, then he just got used to it with knowing that it was just assholes as school. But when Christine came around, it started to bother him again. Of course Michael understood completely and they decided to give the assholes less gossip material. 

Now as he and Michael hugged on his doorstep, he realized how much he actually missed it. Michael’s big hoodie hid his skinnier frame, which just complimented Jeremy’s more. Michael still had the lingering smell of pot and fast food on him, and it was fantastic. His scent could be so comforting in the weirdest of times,he really missed it. Michael was the one to pull away from the hug, making Jeremy realize that the few minutes he’d imagined was just a few seconds. He pretty much immediately snapped out of it. 

“See you tomorrow.” Jeremy said and waved himself off. He could hear the front door close behind him when he stepped into his car. It took Jeremy a few minutes to recollect himself. He thought about the whole past week. 

Jeremy had someday gotten a tattoo with his best friends’ boyfriends’ name on it, who knows when it actually showed up. His dad, the grounding, a week of not being able to do anything but homework and jerk off. Then the whole thing at Rich’s house went down, then all the crazy shit last night. It was a really weird week, Jeremy was almost glad to go back to school tomorrow. 

\---

“FUCK ME, JERRY.” 

“Jesus fuck, okay. Sit down. My _god._ ”

What better to do at lunchtime than an entire gang game of truth or dare. Jake was forced to chug milk, which he promptly vomited in the trash ten seconds later. Jake then dared Chloe to take off her shirt, which of course earned him a bruise. Brooke refused to play in the first place, and Jeremy and Christine stuck to truths. Rich was dared to scream out his favorite vine. As for Michael, he actually wasn’t at the lunch table that day. Sometimes he wasn’t, he would spend some lunches with Alex which was a weird transition for everyone. There was an energy that wasn’t there that most didn’t notice. But still, they were happy if Michael was happy. At least, Jeremy noticed these things. The games that distracted everyone else only sidetracked him for a few minutes. His attention has been on Michael since the texts from his friends on saturday.

“Bro.” 

“What.” Jeremy snapped back. Jake held up his hands in defense. 

“You’re doing the creepy staring thing again.” 

“No I’m not.”

 

“So, you didn’t tell him?” Christine joined in. Jeremy rested his head in his hand and poked at his food. 

“I don’t think I am.” Again, Jeremy brought back his own spotlight. He was getting a bit irritated with the attention. Wanting to be popular was different, he asked for that, he never asked to be dragged into this mess. “What? Why is it so bad that I don’t want to change things between me and Michael? He looks happy. Plus it’s not like I’m gay.” A few skeptical looks between Rich and Jake were shared.

“Sure, Jan.”

“Stop with the memes now, Rich.”

“Look, man.” Rich leaned over from the other side of the table to look at Jeremy more serious. “It’s bothering you. And some day, Michael’s going to notice that bandage on your foot and you’re not going to be able to wear it forever. Telling him is better than letting him figure out.” 

Jeremy thought silently, he wished none of this would have happened. Who knew Rich could have a point that actually made someone think. 

“I’ll figure out a way. I just need more time.” Rich nodded in approval.

“Time’s up, buddy.” 

“Hu-” Jeremy felt a sharp shock in his sides, it almost felt exactly like the Squip when attempted to watch porn. The sudden feeling made Jeremy squeal in the least masculine way possible. “What the f- Michael!” Michael broke out into hysterical laughter, sitting beside Jeremy to keep himself from falling over. He must have snuck behind Jeremy, knowing very well about all of his pressure points, and jabbed his fingers in his sides. 

“Oh god, why does that never get old?” He was still laughing his lungs out. 

“Because you hate me, obviously.” He scowled.  
“Aw, but Jeremy, you’re my favowite pwerson~” Jesus, was he purring? He was at least trying to cuddle up to Jeremy’s side. Jeremy giggled. 

“How was lunch with Alex?” Jeremy asked. Michael looked away for a slight second. 

“It was good.” Jeremy looks at him, unconvinced. Michael leans forward to talk quieter, though their friends were too occupied in their own conversations to notice. “Actually, um...Would you mind if we talk about it later?”

“Yeah, of course, dude.” Michael was back to being as happy as he was fifteen seconds ago. But it made Jeremy very genuinely concerned. Obviously it wasn’t good, and clearly about Alex which just made it so much worse. Did Alex say something rude? Did Michael leave because of it? The thought of it made Jeremy’s stomach flip. Somebody hurting Michael was just...unforgivable. Now that he really had much room to talk. 

The bell rang and everyone dispersed to make it to their own classes. Jeremy decided to go to Michael’s tonight, he needed time to figure out how he was going to confess about his tattoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy can't fight that furry feeling  
> .  
> the gay is almost heere you guys


	5. Boyfriend, meet best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> does alex mitchell is gay???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm @ my best friend who's been helping me with these chapters   
> I prob wouldn't be this far w.o her  
> ALSO  
> school started up again so I've become really slow with writing so chapters are going to be posted without any schedule from now on

It was a repeat of events, heading to Michael’s. Going to talk about his supposed soul mate, equally as worried if not more. His best friend was going to learn that he had a tattoo with his boyfriend’s name on it and there was no telling how he’d react. Who knows, maybe Michael will understand and try to find the person he’s linked to? Unlikely. What if his friends were right? If Michael matches the tattoo, what if he stops talking to Jeremy? Also unlikely...but the Squip did convince Jeremy to throw away their years of friendship, it’s possible Michael could do the same to Jeremy. 

Jeremy was in a constant state of terrified, he drove almost as if he was suffocating but he refused to roll the windows down. He didn’t look as bad in the outside as he does on the inside. He could lose his friend today and he just couldn’t get himself to prepare for the worst. 

His stress began to dwell on his physical body more than he’d expected. Jeremy’s whole body was shaking, he was sweaty and his vision wanted to give out on him. A panic attack was starting to form and he knew it was getting to an unsafe level. Thank god he wasn’t on a highway, but he was on a community road with businesses along the sides. Jeremy pulled into 7/11, the same one that he and Michael messed around in two days ago. Not like that was going to get his mind off it, but he had to get off the road. 

Jeremy opened his door and sat with his feet on the space above where the running board would be, hunched over against his knees like he was at Rich’s. God, it was saturday all over again. It wasn’t even all that confusing now. He was linked to someone that knows Alex, and it may or may not be his best friend whom he’s known for twelve years. All those years of always being together, having each other's backs, the ups and downs, the video games, the squip, was that all supposed to be more meaningful than they've been taking it? “Fate” is a really weird term to describe their relationship, but is “soulmates” a better one? Was it supposed to mean more? Were they supposed to be more than best friends? 

Jeremy sighed. There's also Michael acting sketchy about Alex at the moment. That’s the only thing, what was that even about? Alex has never proved to be a bad guy. 

Jeremy had found out that Alex and Michael started dating within the same ten minutes. Literally, Michael was frantic when Jeremy was first told. 

Jeremy was heading into his third period of the day, nearly in the door when he was yanked away with a mild yelp that came out of him. He was terrified and confused until he finally focused on the direction he was being dragged towards and the warmth that was on his hand. Jeremy looked to see Michael leading him into the nearest boys bathroom. Michael turned to him and grabbed his shoulders, Jeremy could tell that he was shaking, which lead him to believe a series of thoughts about why his friend could be sad.

“What’s-”

“I’m gay.” Michael said very seriously. Jeremy just stared blankly.

“Dude, I know. I’ve known since like, seventh grade.” Michael groaned. 

“No, I mean I just got gay’d.” He was running his hands through his hair. Jeremy was still horribly confused. Michael was flustered and pacing, the bell went off and the bathroom and halls were now empty aside from them.

“You got gay’d.” He repeated. Jeremy was missing world history class for this, and honestly he wasn’t that upset about it. He continued to wait for a response that was hardly coming out of Michael.

“I got asked on a DATE.” Michael yelled out. Jeremy’s eyes widened. 

“A DATE?!”

“A DATE!” They were both getting excited like teenage girls would if the same thing happened. Typically it would be the other way around for the rest of the straight male population, but the gay agenda had different plans for the both of them. It was actually kind of great news. At the time, Jeremy felt like he might leave Michael out too much when he was with Christine, even if they were all together. He didn’t want to put Michael in the outside position again. But now since they both have a love interest in their lives, it might work out.

“Wait, who asked you out?” 

“You know Alex Mitchell?” 

“Uh,” Jeremy had to actually think for a minute. “Edgy football kid? Probably a vape lord?” 

“Yeah!” Michael was smiling and pretty much ignoring the latter half of his friends sentence. “He just came up to me and started talking about the conversation I had with Rich last week!”

“You mean the conversation where you didn’t actually talk but you made out with him for two minutes and then came out to the rest of our friends?” 

“That one!” Michael was like a happy puppy that was given a giant bag of treats, and it kind of made Jeremy smile. Coming out to the public probably made Michael more happy than Jeremy could imagine, because now he was being accepted by other people -- from more than his friends -- and it was a nice payoff. 

“When did all of this happen?”

“Like five minutes ago.” Michael spoke calmly like it wasn’t incredibly sudden. Jeremy was there for what Michael had to say, but geez, anyone would think that that was a little quick. But he couldn’t exactly blame him.

“Maybe we can, I don’t know...we can go on a double date sometime! You and Christine with me and Alex! I mean probably not our first date I mean I don’t want to weird him out or anything. Not that you guys are weird but y’know I don’t want to make _him_ feel weird I don’t know if he’s the type that likes to be alone or if he’s good with crowds y’know I’ve never actually _seen_ him t--”

“Michael, it’s okay.” Jeremy was giggling and shaking his friends shoulder. “Get to know him and we’ll see where it goes.” Michael gave a wide smile in response and hugged Jeremy tightly. It was a strange feeling for the both of them, part excitement and part jealousy. 

When Jeremy had gotten back to class, after a silent shunning from his teacher, a tardy mark, and a walk of shame to his seat, Jeremy realized that he felt guiltily jealous. He shouldn’t be jealous of anything, not that he could think of. He thought maybe because Michael and Alex were going to hang out and probably play video games and get to know each other, meanwhile he and Christine were still in that awkward hand-holding phase. Yeah, he went with that theory. Jeremy kept shoving the weird feeling off, he was happy for Michael.

Now, when he’d actually met Alex was a different experience. It wasn’t the magical double date that Michael imagined, in fact, it was probably better.

Jeremy remembered walking down the creaking stairs that lead to Michael’s basement, and especially remembered how clean it was. The room was usually pretty messy with it also being his bedroom, plus the mess of the snacks made a contribution. Michael would call it his ‘nest’ and that there wasn’t much use cleaning if it was just going to get dirty again. Jeremy couldn’t disagree because he didn’t actually care how Michael left his own bedroom, he and Jeremy were the only ones that went in it, anyways. 

“Baking without me?” Jeremy laughed as he stood at the end of the staircase. Alex and Michael were sharing one of the bean bags, Alex’s arm around the part of Michael that was laying across his chest. Both of them talking while basically blowing smoke in each other’s faces sent a weird feeling through Jeremy’s spine.

“Ayyyyeee!” Michael cheered towards Jeremy, waving him over lazily from the position he stayed in. “We rationed some space for you.” He patted the empty bean bag beside him. 

“I’m not sure that’s the right use of ‘ration.’” Jeremy said dubiously and sat next to them. 

“He’s been playing AC three for a week straight. He’s basically an expert on the revolutionary war.” Alex chimed in, facing Jeremy for the first time. Michael giggled and confirmed his own idiocy.

“Hell yeah, bro. I’m the best.” Michael giggled into Alex’s side. 

Seeing and hearing Alex for the first time, Jeremy noticed the attraction. Alex had really crystal grey eyes and his look was nothing short of what tumblr would call a “stoner aesthetic.” He wore one of those jackets that are like the mixture of a hoodie and a jean jacket, a radiohead t-shirt, jeans, and a loose grey beanie. He had a really strict jawline with stubble covering it, Alex actually looked about twenty years old. He looked like the definition of “I sell teenagers bootleg cd’s and weed in the back of Spencer’s gifts.” Jeremy wondered how Michael hadn’t noticed the perfect match before.

“Oh right! This is...this is the first time you guys are meeting, right?” Michael realized. “Boyfriend, meet best friend.” Alex’s held out the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Michael that Jeremy shook. It was a different approach than he’d thought Alex would’ve given.

“Good to meet you, ‘best friend.’ Not sure a day’s passed that Mike hasn’t mentioned you.” Alex took a hit and held it out to Jeremy, who was now feeling a tiny bit flattered. Also confused. Did he just call him Mike? Yeah, he’s called Michael stuff like Mikey before, Mike was just weird. 

“No thanks, I’m good for now.” Jeremy shook his head. Michael looked at Jeremy with a confused look.

“What’s up, man? And don’t say ‘nothing.’ You know that I can tell when something’s wrong.” Michael spoke. Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek. 

“I just don’t want to ruin the mood or anything.” Jeremy worried. He really didn’t want his first meeting with Alex to turn into a sob story about himself. 

“If it’s me you’re worried about, don’t be.” It was almost like Alex read his mind. “Sometimes you just gotta let stuff out, y’know?” 

The comforting actually kind of worked. Jeremy felt more able to talk about what’d happened earlier now that he had some sort of confirmation. He took a small breath. 

“Uhh, well. There’s really only one way to say it, I guess. Christine and I broke up today.” Jeremy expected dramatic gasps, but it was quiet until he faced them again. 

“What happened?” Michael asked calmly. He was now sitting up next to his friend. 

“It really wasn’t super big. I mean she kind of brought it up, but we were both thinking the same thing.” Jeremy could be way more upset than he was. It was more torturous when he couldn’t confess to Christine, but it still stung when they finally had to have that talk.

“Dude, I’m really sorry that happened.” Michael put his hand on Jeremy’s. It was comforting in the least, it was small but Jeremy felt like it was something he needed. Or like something that he didn’t want to go away. 

“It’s okay, I guess.” He shrugged a shoulder. Jeremy couldn’t even tell if it was a lie or not. He felt like shit, but he didn’t feel like life was over for him. Jeremy saw Alex shift in front of him. 

“Breakups are never okay, dude. Even if it seems like you’re fine, chances are you’re not.” Alex said to him abruptly. It look Jeremy back a bit. Taking relationship advice wasn’t really anything he was used to, especially since he’s only ever had Michael and it’s not like he had much experience either. Relationship advice from a guy he’d just met who was also the gay boyfriend of his best friend? It was a new level of strange. “You need a coping method no matter what.” 

“A coping method?” Jeremy knew what a coping method was, but it’d always be for when he was anxious or something. “Like what?”

“Food, masturbating, gardening, whatever you need to do, bro.” 

“Gardening?”

“If you count buying a weed plant ‘gardening.’” Michael threw up air quotes, side-eyeing Alex. He winked at Michael in return. 

“Okay, yeah.” Jeremy nodded. “It doesn’t hurt to try.” 

“Don’t masturbate too much, though.” Alex pointed at Jeremy. “Especially to the chick. Getting overly emotional is worse.” 

“Jeremy can jack it twenty times a day and not feel a thing.” Michael leaned to whisper to Alex, making sure it was loud enough for Jeremy to hear. “ _Pretty sure it’s how he stays sane._ ”

“Hey!” Jeremy swatted at Michael’s arm. Michael and Alex were both laughing and Jeremy was blushing. When Michael stopped laughing, he hugged his friend apologetically and consolingly. 

“Don’t worry, buddy. Do what you need to get through this thing. We got your back.” Jeremy was chuckling now too, the heat not leaving his face yet as he lazily hugged back. Alex patted him on the shoulder and Jeremy grinned back at him, more content than he’d been all day. 

 

Jeremy sat up from his position in the car. He noticed that the sky was very slightly darker. The sun was going down when he left, and now it was just peeking above the shortest building in his sight. He glanced to his right and could see the time on the radio clock. It was just passed ten, Jeremy had been sitting like he was for twenty minutes, now wondering if he’d fallen asleep for a few minutes. He positioned himself properly again and closed the car door, starting the car up again. 

Whatever happened during his reminiscence, he was calmer. Remembering a few good times had made it easier, for some reason it always did. When Jeremy was having one of his anxious moments or when things weren’t feeling okay, somehow Michael would ease his nerves. Whether he was there with comforting words and a hug and a “hang in there, buddy,” or a memory of him doing so, it helped Jeremy in the littlest way. It was almost always on tab for Jeremy, an unspoken coping method. 

Jeremy decided that thinking was off limits for the next hour or so, it had only caused the stressful events these passed few weeks. Not thinking was what made things turn out okay. Not thinking is what got him out of his car and into Michael’s house. It got him four steps towards the basement before he was stopped. The adrenaline was slowly creeping back through his arm where a small hand was placed. Jeremy slowly removed his hand from the basement door handle to the hand, then to the arm and body it was attached to. 

Ella had stopped Jeremy from going downstairs. Her face was solemn and her hand was only barely resting on his but he could tell just from the touch that she was shaking. Jeremy turned towards her, confused at first, but as they stood in silence he became aware of the apparent voices that came through the door. Ella shook her head lightly.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now, Miha.” 

It was the pet name she’d grown upon over the years. Ella had referred to him as Jeremy a lot of the time, but it was Miha when she was in a sweet or sad mood. It was a play on of the last part of his name, Miah, but included with her own accent and language. It was the near equivalent of mija, or daughter, but Jeremy never minded enough to ask her otherwise. 

“A-are they okay?” Jeremy asked. ‘ _Of course they weren’t okay. Something serious was going on down there._ ’ 

“It’s been over an hour like this.” Ella glanced at the basement door then back at Jeremy. “It’s important for people to find out why they’re upset.” Jeremy looked away for a moment. Was this related to what happened at lunch?

“Maybe I should just talk to him tomorrow.” He didn’t actually want to leave, but who knows how Michael will feel. If it’s anywhere near a breakup, it probably wouldn’t be far from wanting to be alone. That’s how he had felt with Christine, and what Michael had said he felt when Jeremy had said what he did with the squip. But Michael and Alex? Jeremy couldn’t imagine.

“Michael is going to need you. They can’t keep this up too much longer.” Just as Ella said, the voices were less audible. Jeremy and Ella exchanged looks. “I think now is a better time.”

If Jeremy had left minutes ago as originally planned he wouldn’t have seen Alex opening the basement door, stopping in his tracks to stare at Jeremy’s presence, but not speaking a word. Alex just walked out of the house quietly. Jeremy listened to a car turn on and pull out of the driveway, standing only when the car was fully out of sight. 

“Gracias, Ella. And um, I’m sorry you had to sit here and listen to that for so long.” Jeremy apologised, he knew fighting wasn’t a great thing to listen to in any form.

“It’s all okay. I wish you two the best down there.” She smiled softly.

It was Jeremy’s time to finally see Michael. Evading the conversation for weeks and now he wasn’t entirely sure if confessing all of his secrets was a good idea. Right now Jeremy just had to be there for Michael because Michael needed him.

Jeremy walked down the creaking stairs that lead to Michael’s basement. He noticed the mess that was almost always there. But it was different. No weed, no video game sound effects, no snacks, no smoke, no happy best friend. Jeremy only slowly walked towards Michael, who was sitting at the end of his bed with his head in his hands, and god was he a mess. 

Jeremy sat down next to Michael. Neither of them spoke. Jeremy could just look at Michael and feel the cramping pain in his chest and stomach from the view of his friend Jeremy lifted his hand hesitantly and debated on if it was the right choice. He’d comforted Michael a hundred times before. It was this time that he had no idea which action was the right one, the one that would make his friend the most comfortable and not make him feel worse or want to shift away.

He only lowered his hand down to rest on his knee. Jeremy didn’t know what to do as Michael just sit there with his head in his hands. Michael was either thinking too much or not thinking at all, either way an ice breaker was needed _badly_. Jeremy bit his lip.

“Do you want to talk about it…?” Jeremy spoke softly. He wanted to demand answers so bad, but he couldn’t bring himself to ever put that pressure on Michael. There was no response. He needed to try again. “What about...what about a story?” That was always Michaels response. Years ago when they were kids and Jeremy would have bad nightmares, he would wake up crying and Michael would always be there with a story to get his mind off it and make them both tired again. By morning they’d forget it happened, but there was always a lingering comfort left in Jeremy’s chest.

Still no response, no movement from Michael. Jeremy could only do what came to mind, something was better than nothing. 

“Remember the story ab-”

“I think you should go.”

Jeremy thought he went deaf. It was an immediate numbness to all of his senses. Had he really just heard that? He was nearly convinced that he was hallucinating, or maybe that the squip had made him hear the worst. All Jeremy could see was Michael. The way he stared forward and still, it was like they were frozen in time. 

“I-I, Mic-” Jeremy could only stutter. He wanted to beg Michael to talk about his problems. He wanted to be there for Michael and help him. He didn’t want to leave his friend again.

“Get out.” Despite the harsh words, they weren’t spoken as such. They were quiet and Michael was turned away into his own shoulder. But the words still stung like _hell._

It wasn’t even a suggestion anymore. Jeremy was being _kicked out_ of Michael’s house, and he couldn’t say no. He couldn’t say anything. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell out and beg Michael to tell him what was wrong. Yell out the reasons Jeremy felt like a horrible friend the passed few weeks. Jeremy just wanted to say the truth. 

None of that could come out. Jeremy’s mind was clouded and stuffy, he couldn’t even stutter. The pain in his chest was worse, nothing was going right. All he could do was stand and leave and pretend like he wasn’t going to cry, or that he wasn’t already tearing up as he walked out. Nothing ever went as planned, nothing was working out for Jeremy, and now he was just left with the nothing he had to endure. 

He didn’t feel anything as he got out of his car or walked in the house. Everything at this point was fog or shock, both left his head stranded and nowhere to go. It was a reoccurring theme these past few weeks to just not understand anything and have no idea what anything means or where to go. Jeremy slowly closed the house door behind him and leaned back against it. He gripped at his hair and shook his head with the sudden rush of all the emotions he’d apparently been feeling. Tears streamed down his face and he became a complete sobbing hell. Jeremy’s slid back against the wall because his body went limp and couldn’t support itself anymore, he was completely vulnerable.

How could Michael possibly be his soulmate? It was a stupid idea. They were just friends, and now maybe not even that. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t love his best friend. How could he not? Twelve years is a long time together to not care about someone. 

Michael doesn’t feel the same, he knows. Jeremy wasn’t deserving of anything.

He didn’t ask for the stupid tattoo, either. Jeremy just wanted to cut it off or...or get it removed somehow. He didn’t want to look at it, he just wanted to forget like it was even a problem in his life. All it has done is ruin everything. 

_You ruined everything, Jeremy._

He was back. At the times when he was most weak, the squip was back. 

_How could anyone be your soulmate? You can’t even keep a friendship together._

And he was always right. 

_Pathetic._

Jeremy wasn’t going to make the squip go away. He had let himself down. He’d let his friends down. He never helped like the told Ella. He couldn’t even maintain his own head. Frankly, Jeremy didn’t have the strength anymore. Tonight he wasn’t going to try and find an answer. He wasn’t going to make the squip go away. Tonight, Jeremy was going to lay in his bed and remind himself of all the reasons he isn’t worthy of a soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ac3 is the best ac i don't make the rules  
> there was a hunterxhunter quote in this chapter too ;))  
> i have some headcanons about alex bc ive actually grown to love him,,should I post them on my tumblr like is that something you guys would actually be interested in  
> also some alternate endings and alternate lines i was going to add but deleted I could post  
> If that's the kind of stuff you would want, let me kno!


	6. Making some points

Jeremy never thought he could be more of a loser than he already was. He never considered the good things going for him. When he got the squip, the good things he already had were replaced with other (apparently) equally satisfying things. He was given popularity and a girlfriend and new friends, even when the squip stopped taking over he was still left with more friends than he’s ever had before. But the complications that the squip had left lingering had never gone away.

For starters, Jeremy still had moments where his mind wouldn’t let him forget the halloween party. The squip convinced him that Michael wasn’t a worthy friend, and that Michael was nothing but a loser to Jeremy. The squip didn’t force him to talk, the squip wasn’t even present while they were in the bathroom and Michael’s face was broken and tear-stained. Jeremy said his mind to Michael and he couldn’t forgive himself for it.

Without the squip, the play probably would have never happened. Yeah, Jeremy signed up by himself, but he never would have stayed. The squip made him cool and memorize the lines he never would have memorized without the help. Without the play, Rich, Jake, Chloe, Brooke, Jenna, Christine, none of them would have ever been his friend. Michael wouldn’t have confessed the way he did with Jake because Jake probably would have never talked to them if it wasn’t for everything with the play. And without that, Alex probably wouldn’t be in the picture either.

Jeremy couldn’t control his mind the way he wanted to anymore. At the absolute worst times there would always be an extra voice that he couldn’t do anything about. The squip just lingered and spat out reasons Jeremy should feel more guilty or upset than he already was. It was one of the worst parts about deciding to take the squip was that there was no more freedom to feel the way he wanted and think the way he wanted to think. At least he had the control to make it go away, even if temporarily. But when said “worst times,” it was seriously the _worst times_. The times where Jeremy was so distraught that he believed he deserved the mental abuse.

He hasn’t had mountain dew red in four days. 

_You’re just going to lay in bed all day and be a failure?_

Four days since he’s had a proper meal or talked to anybody.

_Seriously, you’re not even trying._

“Can you shut the fuck up?” Jeremy snapped. 

_No can do, it’s my job to tell you how to stop being an idiot._

“Yeah well you’re not helping.” 

_You made the decision, Jeremy. You took the pill, you suffer the consequences._

Jeremy was silent. He was always right. On the second day without talking to Michael he’d run out of mountain dew red. Michael always supplied him when Jeremy mentioned he was going through a rough time. A lot of the time Michael just _knew._ Without either of the boys saying anything, Michael would take out a mountain dew red and give it to Jeremy. Maximum communication with minimum words was one of their shared motives. 

It was getting to an unbearable point. Jeremy needed some mountain dew red. He let himself suffer the consequences of getting the squip in the first place, and force himself to think about why he doesn’t deserve a soulmate, but even _he_ knows that it’s not healthy and this is not a good road to go down. Jeremy was left with almost no choice. 

 

“You’re lucky I stashed up on this last week. I was out for a good two months.” Rich was unloading bottles out of his backpack and handing them to Jeremy, who was slowly moving them into the door of his fridge. “The guy I get it from is saying that they may be coming back. There’s been a higher demand for them.”

“You think it’s got something to do with the squips?” Jeremy flinched. God, would that be hell. Rich shook his head. 

“No, I don’t think. Unless the squip thing got people addicted to mountain dew red.” He smirked. “I think people are just doing what you’re doing.” 

Jeremy’s stomach dropped. Thinking about so many people being in the same scenario that he was in wasn’t a very pleasant thought. He sighed. 

“Thanks for coming, Rich.” Jeremy handed Rich a twenty, which Rich took gladly. 

“Why am I here, anyways?” Rich asked and sat on Jeremy’s kitchen table. “I mean besides the mountain dew red. Or maybe, because of the mountain dew red? Why do you need forty bottles of mountain dew red?”

_Tell him how you failed. Tell Rich about how you no longer have a supplier, much less a best friend._

The fact is that mountain dew red was the only medication for solving a squip problem.There was no proper cure for a drug that’s probably illegal and basically said, “Hey, I’m sold on the black market.” Only a sip was needed to make the squip go away for a while, Rich knew that, and there wasn’t a ratio to how much you drink matching the amount of time he’d be gone for. The squip was mood-dependent, and there’s no telling when things will be brighter in Jeremy’s head.

Jeremy was still fighting with the idea of telling Rich about him and Michael. They were all friends, he should probably know about it so nothing is mislead. 

“Michael and I, uhm…” There was a lump in Jeremy’s throat as he trailed off. He wasn’t going to cry, but he started the hear the little voice in his head. 

_You’re that weak? You can’t even talk about it without whining._

He unscrewed the cap off the mountain dew red he was previously drinking and downed a quarter of it. The voice stopped crawling towards his thoughts. 

“That bad, huh?” Rich looked sympathetically at Jeremy. Jeremy was going to tell Rich that he had no idea, but stopped himself before even starting his sentence. Rich was probably the one to know the most about how bad it was, he’d dealt with it for a lot longest out of any one of their friends. “I figured something went down between you two. Actually, everyone knows.”

Jeremy stress-groaned and laid his head in his arms that were resting on the counter. Of course everyone would be able to tell when they weren’t together when they’d spent every second basically glued at the side. 

“Dude, what even happened? It’s gotta be one hell of a story if it caused you two to break up.”

“Break up!?” Jeremy was confused and flustered at the same time. He probably wouldn’t have been a few months ago before the whole soulmate thing, they were always mistaken for boyfriends. Now it was just a thought that clouded up Jeremy’s thoughts.

“Besides the point. C’mon tell me what happened already so I can get Christine off my back.”

“I don’t even know.”

“You don’t...know?”

“No. Rich, I don’t know.” Jeremy paced his kitchen, running his hands frantically through his hair. “First thing is that I’m headed to Michael’s, going to sort things out because apparently he wanted to talk about something and also, should I mention that _someone_ said that I should tell him about this tattoo I have that binds me to a soulmate that just might be him. And then, next thing I know I’m at his house, he and Alex are yelling at each other in the basement, Alex leaves, and when I try to talk to him he tells me to leave! So no, I don’t know what’s going on and how to fix it. Somehow I screwed up and I don’t have the ability to do anything about it.”

Rich listened to Jeremy silently. He understood now why Jeremy was preparing for the brain apocalypse with mountain dew red. Stress was the worst thing to have when you have a squip. Well, when you first get the squip, stress might not be a problem because it’s job was to make you more chill. After you shut the squip down, stress brings him back. Except instead of helping you it’s just a creeping mental abuse.

“Shit, man.” Rich laughed in a surprised manner. “I don’t mean to laugh at your problems but jesus fuck, that’s a mess.”

“What should I do?” Jeremy asked desperately. 

“I’d say talk to him.”

“He’s avoiding me.”

“So? You’re not avoiding him. Call, text, tweet, do _something._ ”

“It just,” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck in thought. He could just feel the acne forming from stress rubbing there all week. “It seems like a shitty way to solve things.” 

Rich shrugged. Face confrontation was more serious and probably better for the two of them, at least he had a point there.

“What about Alex?” Jeremy looked at Rich, confused.

“What about him?” 

“Have you talked to him?”

“No, I haven’t” Jeremy was still confused. He really isn’t understanding Rich’s point in this. “I don’t even talk to him on a normal day, why would I talk to him now?”

Rich sighed. “Michael left you after fighting with Alex. Michael wouldn’t just leave you on his own terms without explanation.” 

“You think Alex might have told Michael to stay away from me?” Jeremy was skeptical of Rich’s thought. Alex looked like a dick on the outside maybe, but why would he have a problem with Jeremy?

“I’m just saying that Alex and Michael fought right before you talked to him. If Michael won’t talk to you, Alex is the only one that knows exactly what’s going on.”

Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek. Anything is worth a shot at this point.

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll try that.” Jeremy nodded. 

“You better. Michael needs you as much as you need him, he just won’t admit it.” Rich got up and patted Jeremy’s arm before heading to the door. “Good luck, tall ass.”

 

There was no space for luck to play in this situation. Jeremy was forced to consult Chloe about how to get in contact with Alex. It’s not like he ever really needed to have a phone number or anything, they weren’t well acquainted outside of the small hangouts they’d have as a group of three. Luckily Chloe knows everyone and can get whatever information she wants if she tries hard enough. Jeremy didn’t expect any response from the start. He was five-hundred and twenty-six percent sure that Alex hated him. If his _best friend_ does, why wouldn’t Alex? 

So, yeah. The response of an address with no other context would be sketchy if Jeremy wasn’t asking for it. The setting of the location? Equally as sketchy. Behind a 7/11 at ten at night wasn’t settling well with Jeremy. He’d brought a bottle of mountain dew red in his car in case things went bad. Of course, half of it was gone before getting out and walking behind the gas station. Jeremy stuffed his hands into his pockets and muttered to himself to relieve the tense feeling that someone would sneak up and kidnap him or something. But he wasn’t going to leave now, no matter how bad it got. He was going to get Michael back.

Seeing Alex again was like the last time he saw him at Michael’s house after the fight, his face kind of stressed out like he had a lot on his mind but couldn’t really say anything about it. Alex was leaning against a car in the parking lot behind the store, a little hunched over with his chin stuffed in his jacket collar to keep warm. Jeremy walked over hesitantly. 

“Thanks for meeting me.” Jeremy choked out embarrassingly. God, he sounds like a teacher at a parent-teacher meeting. Alex nodded.

“I thought you already knew what happened. Obviously not, I know that now. But you were there.” Alex sounded confused, but Jeremy just felt shut out. 

“I tried!” Jeremy bursted, like he’d been trying to say it for a long time but couldn’t. He coughed awkwardly. “I tried talking to Michael about it. He...more or less kicked me out.” 

Alex wasn’t surprised. He actually scoffed in response. 

“Should’ve known. Immature baby can’t keep from being dramatic.”

Woah.

_Woah._

That was _not_ the answer that Jeremy was expecting. Immature baby? Michael wasn’t either of those things. Yeah he was a geek and got excited over little things, but Michael was not immature. There was a lot more to this story than Jeremy originally expected. He started to feel his face get hot in anger at Alex.

“What exactly happened?” Jeremy mustered out, trying his best not to sound as annoyed as he was getting.

“From the start, alright.” Alex stood directly in front of Jeremy and cleared his throat. “So at the point of about three months, we had this dumb drunk night together. We were hanging out with some of my buddies at a little party and one of them works at Crimson in town.”

Crimson was a tattoo parlor in town, Jeremy remembered. It was a small shop in a strip, pretty cheap looking. He knew where this story was going. 

“Mike kept nagging about ‘it would be so cute to get matching tattoo’s, we have to Alex.’” Alex was mocking Michael’s voice that made Jeremy more not-so-happy with him, but he continued to listen. “Of course that leads into a conversation about soulmate skin attachment and it made Mike want it more. He was convinced it’d show up on me when he got it.” 

“It didn’t...did it?” Jeremy asked unsure, but sure at the same time. Alex shook his head. 

“Nope. He got the tattoo and it didn’t show up on me. At first he convinced himself that it took time, but anyone can prove that wrong, everyone knows it’s instant. Being the optimist, he also convinced himself that having a soulmate didn’t matter because ‘love is who you choose and not who something else sets you up with.’” There was the mocking voice again. I was really getting on Jeremy’s nerves. “I couldn’t care any less. It was a stupid decision he made and he’s mad that it fucked up everything.”

“I think…” Jeremy took a moment to process his thoughts. He had to debate on what was the right thing to say, but nothing sounded right. “How did it fuck up everything?”

“Kid freaks out two weeks later. His mind completely flips and he doesn’t believe what he did before, he kept asking what the point was if it wasn’t fate or whatever bullshit. Then all this other shit comes up about how he feels neglected and ignored. Like any of it made any sense through his weak tears.”

“This is when you fought in the basement?” Jeremy asked. Alex nodded. “So...why would Michael keep that from me? I mean, I get if he doesn’t want to share all the private stuff, but it just doesn’t sound like him.” 

“It’s him, alright. Like I said, immature baby.” 

It really did nothing good for either of them, especially Jeremy. He was just pissed off now.

“How is that immature? It’s not his fault he fell in love.”

“Love?” Alex laughed. “He made out with a guy in public, he was asking for a boyfriend.” 

“Michael didn’t ask for shit.” Jeremy was furious. How could someone think like that? “He wanted to be closer to you and tried to tell you his feelings. How is that immature?”

“So I’m the bad guy now? Mike chose to get the tattoo. He fucked everything up and then complained about it. Doesn’t matter anyways. I just needed to score some points before graduation.”

“Points..?” Jeremy was confused, but considered what Alex was talking about. It couldn’t be…

“You know. Sex. The thing everyone does in high school. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did, really.”

_What._

Oh, Jeremy is pissed. No wonder Michael was distant and confused with everything, he’s been used for sex the past few months.

“You, you used Michael.” Jeremy couldn’t even fathom the situation. He never would have thought it’d ever be something this bad. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You’re just like him.” Alex scoffed again. “Weak and emotional.” 

Jeremy attempted to say something but he couldn’t. He started to walk away, he didn’t need to hear anymore.

“You’re just proving my point, Heere!” Alex yelled from now the opposing side of the parking lot. Jeremy paused. He opened his mouth to say something, but he shut in and growled to himself and stomped back to his car. Thankfully Alex didn’t come running or yelling, Jeremy couldn’t defend himself no matter how angry he was. 

Jeremy needed to get out. He needed to stop sitting and letting everything pass him by while his friend was overcoming a horrible situation alone. Jeremy drives off, hardly processing the thoughts he’ll need for later. He could only see lights from buildings passing as he drove up to a familiar house. It was happening again. Jeremy stomped up to the door and knocked loud enough for the entire street to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for being patient <3  
> sorry for the hell   
> but im not ;))


	7. Atone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's like five pages on google docs and then converting to ao3 it looks like i wrote a page

Jeremy’s heart was pounding out of his chest. He was sweating anxiously despite the cold wind that was hitting him. The rush he’d just gotten from the conversation with Alex left him with the symptoms of anxiety mixed with rage. He had no idea what he was doing, everything was on impulse. So when Michael opened the door, Jeremy’s body went back into its anxious state of teenage vulnerability. 

Throughout the time of not talking to Michael, Jeremy realized how much he’d actually missed seeing him. It wasn’t until Michael opened the door that he noticed how dark Michael’s brown eyes were, and how his hair matches it in it’s own messy fashion. Michael always had some kind of natural beauty to him, including the lazy clothes he was wearing right now. Jeans and an old black hoodie, different than his usual attire but nowhere near disappointing. Jeremy couldn’t tell if it was the air, anxiety, or Michael that made him feel as cold and nervous as he was right now. A cough broke Jeremy out of his trance. 

“I-I uh, what?” Jeremy stuttered. He hadn’t gotten that out of it in a while, since Christine maybe.

“I asked why you’re here.” Michael said surprisingly calmly. Jeremy wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Michael isn’t the type to yell or get angry, but he was never sure after he got kicked out. 

“I...We need to talk.” Jeremy spoke confidently. It was his second attempt at figuring out this entire mess. Michael looked at Jeremy for a few moments, like he was thinking about what he should really do. It was almost an emotional expression that he had. A cold wind blew passed Jeremy and he folded his arms in his jacket pockets and shrunk his neck into the collar. Michael sighed and stood aside, allowing space into his house. 

It was a bit pathetic that Jeremy felt like crying by Michael’s motion. He didn’t, but the relief that rushed over him that he was allowed a second chance made him want to cry out everything that was wrong in the past few weeks. But that wasn’t what he was there to do. He needed to make sure Michael was okay after everything Alex had told him.   
Jeremy walked in and heard the door close behind him. The house was in it’s natural state of being warm with a holiday-like aroma filling it. Jeremy turned to Michael slowly. He really had no idea what he was planning to start with. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Michael said interrupting Jeremy’s whole thought process. It was in an almost annoyed tone, but still like he was curious. At least Jeremy wasn’t convinced that Michael was going to shove him off again. There was a list of things he wanted to talk about. 

“I want to know why you’ve been avoiding me.” That was about as much balls Jeremy had since the fake confidence he’d gotten from the squip. Michael sighed.

“Okay. Let’s sit down.”

Jeremy followed Michael into his dining room to sit at the table. It was unusual not being in the basement in their bean bag chairs, but this wasn’t any game. Jeremy’s heart was pounding in anxiousness. His mind was praying repeatedly that things would turn out okay, he didn’t know if he could handle another day of being away from Michael. 

“You were here during our fight.” Michael started. “How much did you hear?” 

“Nothing.” Jeremy shook his head. “Well I heard yelling, but everything was so muffled…” Michael nodded back. Michael was trying to understand where Jeremy’s head was in the story so he knew where to start off.

“Alright so, there was this night with Alex. We were being stupid and-”

“Got drunk and got tattoo’s and that caused the fight?” Jeremy interrupted Michael, forgetting that Michael had no idea he’d gone to talk to Alex prior to Michael’s house. Michael took a double take. 

“Wha- How did you know that?” Michael questioned, complete confusion washed over his face. 

“I met up with Alex.” 

“When did this happen?”

“About ten minutes before I got here.” Jeremy got quieter at the end of his sentence. Maybe telling his best friend that he’d just met up with his (potentially) emotionally abusive ex boyfriend wasn’t the smartest of ideas. At least he wasn’t being dishonest. 

“Um.” Michael shifted his eyes slightly. Shit, yeah, that was probably the wrong thing to say. “What did he tell you?”

“He told me about the drunk night and the tattoo’s.” This was Jeremy’s second shot at not blurting out shit he knew about. Jeremy could probably do well without talking about the whole “Mike is an immature baby” thing. Michael stared at Jeremy almost impatiently. “He...also talked about your fight. Not a lot...just that the whole tattoo thing got to you.” 

“Yeah.” Michael nodded. “Okay then, you already know what happened.” 

“But that wasn’t my question.”

“What was your question?”

“Why have you been avoiding me?” 

Jeremy’s persistence seemed like it was making Michael upset, or at least something was. Michael’s expression changed to something resembling anger and sadness. Upset was the only word to really describe it. Michael’s hands were intertwined with each other on his table and his shoulders were tensed up. Michael looked uncomfortable, but Jeremy remained sitting in silence to give Michael time to process his thoughts.

“At first I was really just...an emotional wreck. After fighting with Alex and feeling just lost and sad and angry, I didn’t know how to do anything in that moment. Then you showed up after Alex and…” Michael was talking down to his hands, but slowly looked up to Jeremy’s eyes. All Jeremy could see was how broken Michael looked. Like he was empty and desperately trying to built it back up on his own. “I’m really sorry, Jeremy. I shouldn’t have kicked you out. I was being stupid and-”  
“It’s okay, Michael. I’m over it, really. We’re here to talk now.” Jeremy responded. Michael’s cheek forced the corner of his mouth to rise in a small smile. Jeremy was so happy he could make Michael smile again, it really was a feeling he couldn’t really describe.

“So uh,” Michael looked at Jeremy hopefully. He really fucked up for a few weeks, and he regrets not saying anything for as long as he did. “Are we okay now?”   
“Yeah, we’re good buddy.” Jeremy smiled at him, in which Michael returned excitedly. 

The boys couldn’t be more excited to be back together, conversation took off immediately and they didn’t realize how long they’d been talking after hours of doing so, only taking notice when Michael’s wooden dining room chairs were starting to hurt their butts sitting there. Eventually they migrated to the basement together like they’d usually do on a normal day. Internally, both were ecstatic to be in each other’s company again. 

Michael and Jeremy were lounged in their bean bag chairs, still talking to each other about the events about the past few weeks. Now it was almost two in the morning and they were both exhausted, but they couldn’t stop talking. 

“I still can’t believe you got a tattoo like that.” Jeremy said with a small grin and a head shake.

“Bro, you went with me when I got my Pac-Man.” Michael rolled up his sleeve and held it out to Jeremy. It wasn’t the tattoo that was surprising to Jeremy, more the fact of what Michael got. Jeremy put hand up to Michael’s inner forearm that held the Pac-Man tattoo roughly inked into it. Jeremy remembered going to the sketchy tattoo parlor with Michael, the way everyone in there had color covering their limbs. Michael and Jeremy looked like newborn babies compared to them, but Michael wasn’t any less excited. He got it with nearly no pain, Jeremy just watching anxiously. Michael squirmed during the process a little though, probably from the bouncing he was doing in his chair from the excitement. 

Jeremy traced his fingers along the edge of the Pac-Man and the dots that it was headed towards. The black lines surrounding the shapes were out of line in some places, Jeremy traced those with his fingertips. It was quiet in the room now, and Jeremy was just tracing shapes on Michael’s arm. Jeremy saw Michael shift and he looked up to see Michael staring back into his eyes. Jeremy couldn’t look away.

Again, Jeremy was reading Michael’s eyes. Dark brown, tired, beautiful, but still broken. Michael didn’t look uncomfortable, he just looked broken. Like the numbness that your face gets when you cry but without the tears. That’s how Michael’s face looked. 

“What is it?” Jeremy spoke more as a statement than a question. He could have asked if something was wrong, but he knows Michael.   
“I’m…” Michael paused to gather his answer. “Just feeling mellow I guess?” 

“Come on, we’re trying to fix things. What’s really going on?” Jeremy asked. Michael clenched his teeth and looked up for a moment as he took in a breath. Jeremy knew this action too well. It’s what people do when they’re about to cry but are trying not to. It’s one of those things where talking just makes you cry, even if you don’t want it or even if you’re not sad. 

“Do you mind if we talk about it tomorrow?” Michael looked at Jeremy hopefully. Jeremy looked at the clock which was now reading 3:12AM. They _were_ tired, and the least he could do was give Michael time to talk about his feelings.

“Yeah, of course buddy.” Jeremy and Michael stood and stretched. “I guess I’ll head home and get that glorious hour of sleep before school.”   
“Do you want to stay?” Michael wasn’t sure if he was asking for Jeremy’s sake or his own. Jeremy just grinned and nodded slowly. He was too tired to care, and it’d save him the time of going home and actually getting to sleep.

Jeremy walked over to Michael’s bed and flopped back on it, not even bothering with getting comfortable, we was too tired. Michael turned off the light and walked over to the bed in pitch black. Jeremy could only tell Michael was there after he felt the weight of the bed shift. Both Michael and Jeremy lay on their backs and stare at the ceiling.   
“Remember the uhm, the story of when we were kids, and we broke into that playground?” Michael asked, but couldn’t hear or see Jeremy’s reaction, so he assumed he nodded. Or maybe he was sleeping. Either way, he continued. “We met up at a different school after our classes were done for the day. We helped each other over the fence into the playground. But someone came out and told us to leave.” Michael chuckled. “How were we supposed to know that it was an after-school program?” Michael noticed that Jeremy was still silent. He was probably asleep. Michael was turning over to sleep too when he heard a sniff. 

“Jeremy?” Michael looked over in Jeremy’s direction, even though he couldn’t see him in the dark. He could just hear his sobs and sniffs. “Jeremy, hey.” Michael took no time to wrap Jeremy in his arms and console him. He wasn’t crying hysterically or anything, but he was also far from just shedding quiet tears. All Michael could do was rub his back and sit him up to talk. He turned on his bedside lamp so he could actually see Jeremy now. 

His face looked like it had a rash or red patches. Jeremy always got that when he cried, the kind of crying that you can never hide because your face and eyes get so red and hot. Jeremy was chewing on the inside of his cheek and hiding his chin in his shoulder to avoid Michael’s eyes.

“What’s wrong, Jere? Did that story really make you that upset?” Michael sat next to Jeremy and rubbed his back. 

“It’s just…” Jeremy’s voice broke and he cleared his throat, wiping his cheek. “After Alex left and I went downstairs, I couldn’t get you to talk. I couldn’t think of anything, and you looked so heated. The only thing I could ever do to make you calm was tell one of our stories. But that’s when…” Jeremy looked up to Michael for a few seconds, but quickly looked down and fiddled with the end of his long sleeve. “That’s when you told me to leave. And even though I’m over that, I just couldn’t stop thinking about that moment when we weren’t talking. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about anything.” 

Jeremy still had silent tears falling onto the back of his hand and Michael just pulled him back into a hug. Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael tightly and settled his cheek on his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, Jeremy. I know I already said it, but I’m never going to stop. I’m going to make this right no matter how long it takes.” Michael spoke softly. Jeremy nodded, he was more calm now. He just sniffed and wiped the last of the tear trails off his cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” Michael asked. Jeremy nodded again. 

 

“Yeah. Sorry...it just came over me really suddenly.” 

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Okay…” 

Jeremy just set his head on Michael’s shoulder and relaxed into his warmth. Michael laid back slowly, taking Jeremy with him. They lay there, tired and emotional, Jeremy curling himself into Michael. Michael reached over slowly and turned the lamp back off, and for the first time in weeks, Jeremy was calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah that jeremy guy is a wimp, huh  
> Jesus why did this take me like three months to update  
> A lot has happened. Holidays made it hard to write, as well as school and some seasonal stuff. But I'm back! I'm trying to write more often now, but I can't guarantee upload dates. Just kinda when they come.   
> Thank you to who has stuck around to read this chapter!   
> It's not done quite yet, but it's nearing that time so watch out <33333


	8. We have to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "jeremy is shook" in chapter form

“Dude, you zonin’?” A hand was waving in front of Jeremy’s face, snapping him out of his unnoticed trance. 

“Oh, sorry Rich.” Jeremy smiled unconvincingly. God, he probably looked like an idiot just staring forward for who knows how long. “Just tired, I guess.” Jeremy said. Rich bought it.

“Well snap out of it, we’re only waiting on Brooke and Chloe.” Rich responded. He examined Jeremy’s face for a moment, then patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll get you something to wake you up.”

Brooke and Chloe didn’t even want to go, so Jeremy didn’t know why everyone was waiting on them so patiently. “Courtesy?” is what Christine asked when Jeremy was pouting. Not to be a jerk, but when were they courteous to him? Or anyone? Moreso Chloe, Brooke isn’t the type to be too mean or selfish. Chloe, on the other hand, didn’t waste any time telling her feeling about the movie hangout. 

“That movie is dumb,” and, “A party would be better. A _real_ party.” were her true feelings. The only reason she came was because Brooke was going, and they follow each other wherever the other one is. Chloe also has a hard time saying no to Brooke.

Jeremy didn’t want to host the movie at his house. It was friday, he wanted to cram in homework and then have the whole weekend off. But now he has to stay up late watching a movie, cleaning up the mess afterwards, and doing homework on a Saturday. They couldn’t host at Rich’s because he hates his house and Michael didn’t have the best setup. Only Chloe and Brooke were coming besides them, surprisingly considering Jake or Jenna weren’t coming.

It was not the ideal weekend, but it wasn’t the absolute worst. Yeah, he’d like to relax and be by himself, or maybe hang out with Michael for a day, but he hasn’t really been with any of his friends in a while. He saw Rich that night he got the mountain dew red stock, and saw some of the gang at school, but hasn’t gotten the chance to actually talk to them.

The drama with Alex and Michael started two months ago. Michael stopped talking to Jeremy a month and a half ago, which makes today three weeks since they made up. It’s a hectic timeline, really. Since making up, though, things have been pretty normal. No fighting, no huge build up of emotions, no Squip, no Alex. Well, that is, if you don’t count the tattoo.

_God,_ the _tattoo._

Jeremy has done a pretty good job at oppressing that one thought. It’s just getting worse, he got that tattoo two months ago and hasn’t said a word to Michael about it. He’s even more surprised that one of his other friends hasn’t said it yet, even on accident. Maybe it’s just not that important. Maybe he’s making it more of a big deal than it is.

Something dropped in Jeremy’s lap and he jumped. Picking it up he noticed it was a small bottle, maybe two inches tall. He turned it around and read it. 

“X-Energy? What is this?” Jeremy asked, turning back to Rich who was leaning over the back of the couch toward Jeremy.

“Pure fuel.” Rich spoke back. “To help you stay awake for the movie.” 

“Sounds like a heart attack in a bottle.”

“Pretty much.” 

Jeremy looked at it skeptically. He didn’t want to take a shot of pure sugar and caffeine, but as he stared at the ingredients he couldn’t help but feel more and more tired. Jeremy sighed and opened the bottle and drank the whole thing before his brain had a chance to take in the taste. Once he did, he regretted it. 

“Tastes like corn syrup mixed with Alka-seltzer.” Jeremy remarked.

“Probably is, too.” 

The doorbell rang and Rich went to the door to get it. Jeremy grumbled and went back to moping on the couch. He felt like Chloe, not even wanting to be there, but it was his own house and he couldn’t just leave. 

“Movie in yet?” A new voice spoke and placed a seat next to Jeremy. Jeremy looked up, it was Michael. He has trouble noticing him sometimes. And not because they didn’t talk for three weeks, but Michael changed into something that took away some of the familiarity.

About a week ago, Michael changed his hair. It wasn’t a gigantic change, but it was definitely noticeable. Ironically enough making Michael unnoticeable. His long brown bangs that he always had was now blonde. The sides were still the same brown, and his roots were already growing in under the yellow-white mix of chemically changed hair, but it was different. “I wanted white, but that obviously didn’t happen.” Michael said when Jeremy first saw it. It wasn’t like Michael at all, he loved his hair. Jeremy spent that whole night researching reasons people dye their hair and he found some actual useful information. One main reason was a confidence issue, but that also wasn’t Michael. Even after Alex, Michael isn’t the type to have confidence issues. The other reason was personal trauma. It doesn’t have to be severe, but Jeremy read that you’ll often see girls cut their hair short after a breakup. It wasn’t confidence, so Jeremy went with trauma. From, you know…

“Buddy? Helloooo?” Michael was looking at Jeremy, confused. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.” 

“Did you even hear what I said?”

“Uhm…”

Michael was skeptical of Jeremy. He squinted at him.

“Are you high?”

“What? No, I’m not high.” Now Jeremy was confused. 

“Okay, you’re just spacing out more than usual.”

It seems that no matter of time could pass and Jeremy would still be overthinking to the point of making his friends insane. He was just praying that the gross energy shot would actually do something. 

“Yeah, sorry. Just tired.” Jeremy lied. It was always just getting lost in his own thought.

“Nobody has turned the movie on yet?” Rich popped back into the conversation, now joined by Chloe and Brooke following him to the couch.

“Uhhh, I don’t think so.” Michael looked from Rich to Jeremy, who never gave him an answer to that question, then back to Rich. 

“Whomst’d’ve’ly’yaint was in charge of the movie?” 

“Rich, first of all, shut the fuck up. Second of all, just put it in yourself.” Michael answered. Rich just laughed and walked over to the dvd player to put the movie in. 

“What are we watching?” Brooke asked, sitting on the couch and pulling Chloe, who was on her phone, next to her. 

“Flatliners.” Jeremy responded. “The new one.”

“Ew, really?” Jeremy was expecting that response to come from Brooke or Chloe, but it actually came from Michael. “The OG is so much better.”

“You’ve seen this already? It just came out.” 

“Well, no. But there’s never a time where the originals aren’t as good as the remakes.” 

“What about Star Wars?” Christine chimed in. 

“Do you really beli-” Michael began talking, but Jeremy put his hand on his mouth to stop him. 

“I don’t think now is the right time for that, Michael.” Jeremy laughed awkwardly, wanting to edge away from conflict as much as possible, especially tonight. Michael sighed. He gets too opinionated over things that won’t benefit from making a point; Jeremy can recognise these things and prevent them before they start. Usually, anyways.

The movie began and each kid took their place on the brown suede couch in Jeremy’s living room. Brooke and Christine were discussing their mutual confusion about what the movie was about, Rich and Chloe silently bickered about Chloe’s phone being on during the movie, and Michael sat pouting next to Jeremy. Nobody was really satisfied and it just furthered Jeremy’s idea that this wasn’t a good idea in the first place. 

_’Maybe I’ll just take a nap and pretend like the energy shot didn’t work.’_ Jeremy thought. He loved his friends and their company, but this night wasn’t going to be anything special or even nice. Jeremy sighed and leaned over onto Michael who had his arms up on the back of the couch.

“You good, Jere?” Michael whispered. Jeremy nodded; Michael faced back towards the television. Now it was quiet aside from the movie and Jeremy could close his eyes. He just focused on Michael’s heat that was giving off of him and tried to relax as much as possible. Michael moved his arms from the back of the couch and put one around Jeremy. Jeremy’s eyes opened slowly and he looked at Michael’s arm that was lazily lying on his side. 

Was Michael trying to cuddle him? 

_’Maybe his arm just fell down or something he’s probably not meaning to hold me or anything.’_ Jeremy thought.

Michael rubbed his finger up and down slowly on Jeremy’s waist. Jeremy couldn’t tell if his heart was stopping or if it was going so fast that he couldn’t hear it. Yeah, he and Michael have laid together before, hell, laying on each other was a norm, but this time was different. It’s such a small action that made Jeremy’s heart pound and face heat up. 

_’Did he do this kind of thing with Alex? Why is he doing it to me?’_

Not to say that it wasn’t nice. It made Jeremy nervous and a little bit confused, but it actually relaxed him and made him feel somewhat safe. Jeremy slowly relaxed into Michael’s side again and closed his eyes. 

 

“Jeremyyy. Jere, c’mon wake up.” 

Jeremy was being shaken awake and he grumbled. He rubbed and opened his eyes to see Michael with his arm on Jeremy’s shoulder. 

“Huh? What time is it?” Jeremy asked, sitting up from how he was laying on the couch. 

“Eleven.” 

“In the morning?!” Jeremy panicked.

“No, not in the morning. The movie ended like half an hour ago.” Michael chuckled.

Jeremy sighed out of relief. It would have been one hell of a day if he’d just slept fourteen hours. He stretched his arms above his head and grumbled again. 

“Sorry I fell asleep.” Jeremy apologised. Michael shook his head. 

“It’s cool. Everyone just left, too. They thought it’d be weird to stay at someone’s house when they weren’t even conscious.” Michael laughed again. 

“Thank god it’s over.” Jeremy complained. He looked at Michael. “You staying tonight?” Michael nodded. Jeremy nodded back in confirmation and ran his fingers through his hair. God, he was greasy. Did he really sweat that much in his sleep? He disgusted himself sometimes. 

“Well, then I’m gonna go take a shower and we can do whatever.” Jeremy stood up. That nap make him feel a thousand times less tired, which was a complete miracle. Michael just responded with an “Okay,” and Jeremy was on his way to the shower. 

He really shouldn’t be tired now. Jeremy should have stayed awake and saved his drowsiness for later so he wasn’t up all night. Not that it really mattered that much, at least now he could spend some time with Michael. Speaking of which...what was with the whole cuddling thing? It wasn’t _that_ weird, but it was different. Michael has been so different lately with the hair and the way he acts around Jeremy. It’s almost like the way he acted when he first got with Alex. Jeremy wondered if maybe it was symptoms of a rebound, except unintentional, like just a need of what he had before.

Jeremy could allow himself a few minutes to think about the tattoo now that he was alone. Remembering the conversations he had with his friends about who might have the tattoo, the three weeks he stared at the tattoo while Michael didn’t talk to him, and now dealing with Michael’s weird new actions and change in style.

Jeremy missed Michael, a lot. He missed hanging out and playing games, getting high sometimes, talking about relationships and being real with each other. Things have been weird for months and instead of going back to the way they were. They were going down this weird new form of friendship, and Jeremy couldn’t tell if he liked it. Yeah, Michael was super hot with the new hair and the cuddling wasn’t so bad…

_Wait, did I just call Michael hot?_

Michael was definitely attractive and Jeremy has never lied to himself or to Michael about that, but that thought was new. But it still isn’t really a lie.

Jeremy looked down at his ankle to see the tattoo again. He hadn’t looked at it in almost two weeks because he refused to acknowledge its existence now that he and Michael were good again. At first glance, everything seems normal, but it was different. Literally, the tattoo was different. Jeremy stared intensely for at least a full minute to fully convince himself that the tattoo wasn’t like that before. But Jeremy knew that if it were like this before, none of this drama would have been as bad as it was. 

Now covering the words “Alex Mitchell” was a black and white galaga ship. Of course, it should have been obvious when Michael _and_ Alex said that he got a tattoo, but Jeremy wanted to play dumb for a little while longer. There was no denying it now. Months of debating and stress and curiosity was all leading back to the original theory. 

Michael had to be the one with the tattoo.

Jeremy got out of the shower and threw his pajama pants and t-shirt on. He wiped the foggy condensation off the mirror and looked at his face for a minute. What was he supposed to say? “Hey Michael, y’know that drunk tattoo you got two months ago that didn’t show up on the person you wanted it to show up on? Hahaha well it showed up on me. Nice to know we’re soulmates now.” 

_Soulmates._

Michael and Jeremy have been called a lot of things, but soulmates definitely set a new height. Jeremy couldn’t stall anymore, he had to do something or else he’d throw himself back in his old stressed out self. Not that the idea was the absolute worst considering what may happen when he actually does say something.

Jeremy shook out his hair in his towel, hung it up, and left his bathroom. He walked slowly into the living room.

“Hey, Jere I gotta question.” Michael said without looking up and examining two cases laid out in front of him. “Battlestar Galactica or Mystery Science Theater three-thousand box set?” 

Michael turned around to look at Jeremy who was leaning against the wall chewing on his lip.

“Michael?” Jeremy asked slowly.

“What’s up?” Michael asked back in the same concerned manner. He could tell something was wrong.

“We have to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where the title makes it seem like something is going to happen but it doesn't  
> I have an actual timeline for this whole fic because i forget when things happen, but the timeline so far goes over from november to april, like damn it’s crazy. Maybe I’ll post it sometime if anyone’s confused, because obviously I got confused enough   
> also I said I'd update more often <333 thanks to all of your support, I really appreciate all of you and I can't thank you enough for reading


	9. Remade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof  
> this was a journey  
> prepare

“We have to talk” wasn’t a phrase that could shock Michael into creating an excuse to get out of the conversation that Jeremy was trying to have. But it was a phrase that made Michael’s heart race. His blood would pump and his nerves would be on an edge through the next two days. It was one of the few phrases that Jeremy said so seriously that if it’s the only thing you hear him say you’d never know about any of his awkward demeanor. 

It scared Jeremy half to death thinking about what he was going to have to talk to Michael about. The tattoo had been torturing him for months, and it just kept going. 

“What’s going on?” Michael asked. He set down the dvd’s that he was holding and turned his body towards Jeremy. Jeremy moved from the side of the room over to the couch, sitting opposite to Michael. Jeremy pulled his legs up onto the couch into his chest and took a breath. 

“So when you got the tattoo, you found out that Alex didn’t have it.” Jeremy said in a manner of approval, like he was making sure he was getting the story straight for the thousandth time. Michael nodded.

“Yeah. It was kind of hard to take in.” Michael started fidgeting with the cushion of Jeremy’s suede couch. He was moving his finger across it to make the fabric lighter, then darker, then lighter again. “It sounds kind of stupid to say, especially now. But when you’re with them in a world where soulmates exist, it’s hard to not believe it when things are so great, you know?” 

Jeremy heard Michael’s feelings genuinely. The skin attachment almost felt like a curse sometimes. Some people don’t care about it, some don’t want to care about it but still do, and for most, people are given hope and the sense of adventure to find who they’re meant to be with. Michael was rare. Michael wants love and is passionate to find it, but has constant thoughts of giving up.

“I don’t know. I almost think it doesn’t matter at this point. I’ll be with who I want, as long as whoever that person is thinks the same.” Michael spoke again, still drawing little figures, some little hearts, then rubbing them away into the dark fabric. Michael looked back up at Jeremy again. “Why are you asking again?”

“Oh, right.” Jeremy said, back into the thought of his original intent. Should he really tell Michael? He didn’t seem very interested in a soulmate now. And Jeremy didn’t know if he wanted a soulmate either. Of course he wanted Michael in his life, he just couldn’t make a decision on in which way. But he already decided that he needed to Michael. 

“I uhm…” He struggled to find the right wording; it wasn’t really coming to him. “I think I know who got your tattoo.”

Jeremy said it like he wasn’t sure who it was. Jeremy knew damn well who had it, it’s like he was setting Michael up to still be unsure who has it. Jeremy said it like it was a guess. 

“You do?” Michael asked. The hope was returned to Michael’s eyes, and it broke Jeremy inside. He felt shame start to build up in his body. “Who is it?”

“Um…” Jeremy couldn’t just come out and say it, could he? Physically, no, now he can’t. A lump can formed in his throat so hard, he might just start crying if he says anything. It was hard to breath, and all Jeremy could do was try to swallow it back. 

He slowly looked down at Michael’s ankle, which was mostly covered by a scrunched up marijuana-printed sock and jeans that were ripped on the ends, but still a little part of the galaga ship peaked out between the fabrics. It was definitely the same one Jeremy had.

Jeremy looked down at his own ankle, covered all by his own hand, even though his pajama pants would well cover it on its own. It’s like he wanted to protect it at any cost; it’s like he was holding something that you broke and you didn’t want to tell your parents. It brought Jeremy shame. Michael wouldn’t want to be his soulmate. Did Jeremy want to be Michael’s soulmate?

Jeremy just looked away and lifted his pant leg, like he was getting a shot at the doctors and he was pretending like the pain wouldn’t be there if he didn’t see it. Jeremy also realized that this was the first time he hasn’t worn his bandage around it since he told everyone else. He felt more exposed than he would have if he was naked. His head was hung to the side with feelings of chagrin. 

Jeremy couldn’t look up to Michael. He didn’t want to do this. The regret that filled him was overwhelming. Jeremy looked at his exposed ankle, then covered it up again with his hand. Why did he decide to do this? So stupid. 

Michael didn’t have a big reaction. No shocked gasp or overwhelmingly red face from the embarrassment or nervousness. Michael just sat and looked at Jeremy, then the tattoo, exhaled, but not like a sigh, like a short release of a held breath, then Michael spoke. 

“I know.”

Wait.

What?

What what? He _knows?_ How does Michael know about the tattoo? Michael wasn’t a very oblivious person but, Jeremy hid it so well. Did someone rat him out? It was all so confusing again. 

“What?” Jeremy questioned. He was so confused. “You know what?”

“I knew you had it.” Michael said admittedly, almost like he was ashamed of it but he spoke so calm that it was hard for Jeremy to tell. 

“How did you know? And why didn’t you tell me?” Jeremy sat up and put his legs off the couch. Michael ran a hand through his hair and shrugged.

“It was a suspicion most of the time. I don’t know, it all just seemed to puzzle together. You got grounded right after I got the tattoo, but it wasn’t obvious at that point. Then you mysteriously hurt your ankle, which I considered the idea that you had it but I was trying to not assume anything.” Michael explained. Jeremy could be clumsy, it definitely wouldn’t be the first time Jeremy hurt his ankle. “But you’re still wearing the bandage two months later? A sprain for two months doesn’t make sense. Plus it’s on the same foot in the same place, I don’t know, it just kind of goes together, Jere.” 

Jeremy thought to himself for a moment. Jeremy thought he was getting away with it, but it wasn’t as detailed of a plan as he needed. It’s a little embarrassing to know that your secret hasn’t really been a secret. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jeremy asked. 

“Alex and I were together when I first thought it, and it was hard enough to keep things from jeopardizing, but that didn’t work out so well anyway.” Michael shrugged. What happened between him and Alex were still a bother. Even though Alex wasn’t worth anyone’s time or energy, it was still a shame. “Now I just didn’t know how you’d react. It seemed like you didn’t want it in the first place.”

At least that was kind of true. Jeremy really didn’t want the tattoo. He didn’t want to be bound to someone, Jeremy didn’t want to put someone else in that kind of position to have to be with someone like him. 

“No I do!” Jeremy said defensively. “I mean, what I mean is that I was planning on spending my whole life with you anyways.” Jeremy and Michael both went pink. Was that a confession?

“You were?” Michael asked. 

“Well…” Jeremy avoided eye contact. “It’s not like I wanted to stop being friends. I just…”

Jeremy trailed off, he really didn’t know how to word his feelings. He didn’t know if he and Michael were supposed to be romantic soulmates, Jeremy didn’t even know if he was gay. Neither boys knew how each other felt. Jeremy couldn’t really put his feelings into words, either. He couldn’t confess out true love to Michael because he had no idea if that’s how he felt, or if that’s how Michael feels. What if he doesn’t feel the same? Or what if Michael does feel that way and Jeremy doesn’t?   
Michael shifted towards Jeremy slightly. 

“I wasn’t thinking about not being friends either.” Michael spoke. “Soulmates is such a strong term, especially with how fate plays into it and everything like that.” 

“Yeah...” Jeremy nodded, biting his lip. He looked up at Michael. Michael looked back.

Michael looked so different than when they first met, let along two weeks ago. Michael obtained his own style where one day he can wear a sweater and formal pants one day and the next he’s wearing a jean jacket and flannel. Not to mention the new hair. Michael was always kind of that person Jeremy looked up to in certain instances. Of course Jeremy wants to spend his life with Michael, he’s Jeremy’s _best_ friend. 

Would things be weird if they were together? Probably. Should they try anyways? Jeremy couldn’t decide something like that. 

“Can I say something too?” Michael asked. He was pinching the cushion of the couch between his fingers. 

“Of course.” Jeremy said, almost surprised. There was never anything Michael couldn’t tell him. 

“I’m relieved knowing it’s you.” Michael said. “Fated to someone you don’t know? That might be exciting to some people but that sounds sketchy as fuck.” 

Jeremy giggled. 

“What?” Michael asked confused, but half smiled at Jeremy’s amusement. 

“Sketchy as fuck.” Jeremy squeaked out, holding back giggles. 

“Oh my god, stop that.” Michael laughed and shoved Jeremy, who just laughed back at Michael.

The two laughed at each others laughing. It wasn’t even about the joke this time, or lack thereof. Michael laughed at Jeremy’s amusement with the statement and Jeremy laughed that Michael was laughing with him. It was one of those times where Jeremy had to hold his stomach to keep himself from getting a laugh cramp. Jeremy giggled into Michael’s shoulder, making his hot breath slow down his breathing and eventually slow down his laughs. 

Finally it got to a point where Michael and Jeremy weren’t being hysterical and actually breathed like normal humans. But now it was silent. Jeremy had his head on Michael’s shoulder and they just sit there in silence, and it lasted a few minutes. Michael was convinced that Jeremy fell asleep.

“Can I ask you something?” Michael asked half-quietly. Jeremy’s head liften from Michael’s shoulder. 

_Guess he wasn’t asleep._ Michael thought.

“Yeah, you know you can.” Jeremy nodded.

“Do you think us being romantic is wrong?” Michael asked. “Like, just your opinion. I’m not sure what to think about it.”

“I don’t really know either.” Jeremy said bluntly. “I don’t think it’s wrong for best friends to be together. Romantically, I mean. It’s just that, I dunno...”

Jeremy trailed off. Dating Michael? It’s just weird to think about. Of course they’d joked about it, other people had teased them about it, but it being a reality was so confusing. Jeremy would be lying if he said he’s never thought about being with Michael, other people talked about it so much that they can’t just _not_ take notice. What if Jeremy and Michael dated? What would that do to other people? What would that do for them? For their friendship, what if it ruined everything? 

“Do you think it’s wrong?” Jeremy asked back to Michael. He needed to stop overthinking to one question. Michael shrugged and turned his face away slightly. Neither of them spoke for at least a minute. Jeremy was lightly scratching the cushion of the couch with his fingertips, nails bitten down to be short and brittle. Jeremy looked at Michael, but Michael was looking down at his lap. 

“Can I say something crazy?” Jeremy asked, which brought Michael’s attention back towards Jeremy. 

“If you start singing I swear I’m pushing you off this couch.” Michael responded.

“No, no I’m not going to sing.” Jeremy half smirked. Like he’d really ruin this weird depressing-yet-awkward moment they were having right now. 

“Okay. Then yeah, you can say something crazy.” 

“You know how peoples’ first kiss are supposed to be like...you know, special? Something like ‘a spark’ like everyone says.” Jeremy said. He felt the anxiety coming with the question coming up his spine. “I don’t want to suggest anything I just thought, I don’t know, I thought maybe it was something we-”

Michael kissed Jeremy.

Michael didn’t need Jeremy to ramble on, neither of them were that naive. Michael also knows what Jeremy’s getting at (at least most of the time) when he rambles. The kiss only lasted a couple seconds, and it was sweet. Not anywhere near passionate, but not that middle school awkward kiss either. It was comfortable and hard to explain it any other way.

Michael wanted to give Jeremy what he wanted, but not overstep any boundaries in case this ended up being a horrible idea. Though Michael couldn’t pinpoint whether he was doing it to get Jeremy to shut up or doing it because he really wanted to kiss Jeremy. 

Michael pulled back from the kiss. Jeremy was a heated mess all over his face and ears, but showed no other physical sign of embarrassment. Usually he’d be shriveling in his own thoughts, but he just sat and stared in Michael’s eyes. It was like the night he talked to Michael at his house after their fight. Jeremy just stared in Michael’s eyes and memorized the look of him. Michael’s bleached hair, dark brown eyes, natural red hoodie--which was rolled up at the sleeves to expose his pacman tattoo--and _gosh,_ those eyes. Jeremy was virtually speechless. 

“Sorry, was that too much?” Michael asked. He should at least be sure that’s what Jeremy meant when he was stumbling through his thoughts. Jeremy shook his head. 

“N-no. No it wasn’t too much.” Jeremy responded. “It was...um...” 

“Um?” Michael wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not, but he chose the latter to side with his friend’s newly clouded mind. Michael didn’t need Jeremy to think that it was the best kiss ever, but he thought Jeremy at least wanted it.

“I don’t know…really how to describe it.” Jeremy said, nearly defeatedly. Michael nodded and bit his lip.

“That’s okay.”

“Okay?” Jeremy was confused.

“We tried. That’s all we were doing. It could mean nothing for all we know.” Michael said.

That last part made Jeremy’s chest feel like it dropped to his stomach. He couldn’t describe his feelings right now like he could describe his feelings for Michael’s eyes. Or his feelings for Michael. 

“For now I think we should just sleep on it.” Michael said and glanced at the clock. It read ‘2:03AM’. “Literally.”

“Okay.” Jeremy nodded. “I’ll get the lights.”

Jeremy got up to get the lights, Michael got blankets from an ottoman near the couch. Jeremy had one of those L-shaped couches that the two could comfortably sleep on without bumping into each other in the night. Typically Michael and Jeremy would sleep with their heads towards opposite ends of the couch, but tonight they both placed their heads toward the center. It was a silent agreement to feel more comfortable, at least tonight it just felt right. 

The rest of the night was quiet and fully peaceful. The only bother was Jeremy’s heart that wouldn’t stop pressing towards his ribcage, and one continuous image playing in his mind to keep him up for days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've literally been gone for over two months. I grabbed some protein crackers and four water bottles and forced myself to sit and finish this damn chapter because your comments are too nice to just stop this fic.  
> Thank you for all your continued support and thank you to those of you who are still here reading<3  
> Look forward to the next chapter. It's a big one.

**Author's Note:**

> the next chapters do get more chill i promise  
> and my writing will get better each chapter


End file.
